We Used to Be Friends
by sharisasweetie
Summary: veronica is moving away and shes really sad about it. i suck at summaries, so just read it. this is my first fic so please be kind! thanks.
1. Chapter 1

a/n: hey…this is my first fic so PLEASE be kind. Leave me a review please and be honest. Umm...yeah.

Hello, my name is veronica mars. let me tell you a bit about myself. I am a blond, teenaged girl and I go to school at hearst college. I do not live in the dorms. Instead I live with my father, who is a detective, in an apartment. Youre probably wondering where my mom is…well, this is very sad, but she ran away from us to live with my boyfriend duncan's father. I do not know where she is now but I don't want to know because she is out of my life.

I live in Neptune, california. It's kind of a dull town, there isnt a lott to do. We do have a cold stone creamery though and every Friday I like to go there with my bffs, logan, mac and wallice. They are my best friends and I would diet without them. I've been through some hard times and they were always there 4 me. If anyone ever tried too hurt them, I would kick their asses.

So it was a beautiful Saturday morning in neptune and I was watching tv. There were no classes because it was a Saturday. I was watching my favorite television programme, the adventures of mary-kate & ashley olsen. They are detectives like me and they are my roll models.

Suddenly my dad bursted into the apartment. His eyes were wide with excitement. "veronica, I have huge news!! I got a new job!!!"

I was so sexcited that I dropped my bowl of ice cream. "OMG! What is it??"

"Well, I have become the official mystery solver for the president! I am going 2 be getting paid a million dollars for every mystery I solve and were moving to washington dc!!!"

I screamed. No longer would my friends be able to make fun of me for my lack of money. You see, my dad used to be the town sheriff, and we were very rich then, but then my so-called best friend lily got my dad fired for no reason except for the fact thaht she's a stupid bitch. My boyfriend duncan who I mentioned earlier was so pissed at lily for ruining my life that he killed her, and he got the death sentence. Duncan's father and my mom were so depressed that they ran off together.

"I have to go tell mac!" I shouted, heading to the phone.

"Wait, veronica," stopped my dad. "I have some sad news…in order for me to be the official detective for the president, we have to move to washington dc and live in the white house. We r moving tomorrow. U will never see any of your friends ever again."

Everything became quiet as I realized how much my life would change. I dropped my bowl of ice cream.

The awkward silence was interrupted by a phone call. I checked the caller id; it was logan, my present boyfriend. Sadly, I picked it up. "oh, uh, hey logan."

"hey veronica," said logan. "do u want to go to cold stone creamery tonight?"

I began 2 say yes, but then I hesitated, remembering that I was moving away. I didn't kno what to tell him. We loved each other more than anything, and if I were to move, he would be sad 4 the rest of his life. Then, suddenly, I got an idea and I knew wat to tell him. It was something that was going 2 be very hard for me to say, but it was the only thing I could do.

"ew, no, I do not want to go with u," I said. "u are ugly and I don't even like you. Don't talk to me ever again."

This was a lie, but I had to lie and be a bitch to him, because if I didn't, he would spend the rest of his life single and depressed over me, waiting for me to cum back to neptune. Now this way, he would hate me and go on living, without dedicating his life to me or anythin.

"veronica…wat?" he asked.

"shut up!!" I said. "I never luved u. so shut up!!" I hung up the fone because I was starting to cry. I was so sad, even though I had done such a good thing 4 the one I loved.

Dad put his hand on my shoulder. "u did the right thing, veronica."

I sighed. U see, sometimes doing the right thing isnt always the easiest thing to do, but if you want to lead a good life, u have 2 do the right thing. A wise woman once told me this. Her name was miss dent and she was my art teacher. She was murdered. No one knows who did it but I have dedicated my life to finding out.

i went to sleep so I would be ready to move tomorrow. Logan called all night but I did not pick up the phone.


	2. Chapter 2

a/n: thanx you guys for all your comments!!! And thank you to samantha for ur advice on making veronica sarcastic, I will make her sarcastic from now on. Thx! OH and btw this chapter is dedicated to my bff katrina whose bf broke up with her and she is really sad. Plz be nice to her in the comments because im afraid she might start slitting her wrists again.

I woke up in my bed, thinking that maybe the events of yesterday were all just a horrible dream. But they were not. I began 2 cry.

Dad walked into my room. "veronica, the moving trucks are here and we need to get to the airport. Are u ready?"

I started to scream. "no! im not ready! I want 2 stay here, in neptune, not to go to some strange place! I mean, my whole life is here. Did I uncover the mystery of the bus crash killer in washington dc?? No! did the dean get murdered in washington dc?? No!!"

Dad started 2 cry. "I understand, veronica. Well, if u want, we can just stay here and go on being poor. I mean, with all our new money, I was going to pay mary-kate and ashley olsen to attend your nineteenth birthday party. But we can just forget about that I guess."

I gasped. "OMG, I could meet mary-kate and ashley, my roll models?! Im sry, I was just kidding before, let's move to washington!"

Suddenly the idea of moving to washington dc seemed really great, although I was still going to miss my bffs, especially logan. I wasn't going to miss piz or lily because they were both fags.

And so a few minutes later me and dad were on the plane which would take us to our new home at the white house. A stewardess walked to the front of the plane. "hello everyone, thanx for choosing oceanic airlines flight 814. today for ur entertainment we have a wide variety of selections from the cw network. First, an episode of the search 4 da next pussy doll. Second is an episode of hidden malls. Enjoy."

I sighed. As much as I loved search 4 da next pussy doll, I was still so sad about having 2 move.

I took out my book which I was going to read on the flight. It was twilight by stephenie meyer. It is my favorite book in the whole world. I opened it up to start reading, but I gasped when I saw that someone had stuck a post-it note inside the book!!!

it said:

"veronica, I am a very evil person and I killed miss dent! Im also going to kill ur friends & family! So watch ur back, becuz u'll be next! Ha ha ha!

-anonymous"

I screamed. The stewardess walked over 2 me. "is there a problem, miss?"

I stopped being afraid, trying 2 keep my cool. "oh, uh, nuthin. I just saw a snake on the plane." Everyone stared at me.

"um, miss, could u please not scare any1 by lying about there being snakes on the plane?" asked the stewardess.

"and could u not scare anyone by wearing those ugly shoes???" I said all sarcastic-like becuz I am a very sarcastic person.

The stewardess walked away crying, which made me very happy.

But then I remembered the mysterious post-it note that had been left in my book! Sum1 is out to get me, and their bringing my family into this!!

The plane stopped; we were in washington. My dad woke up and we walked off the plane. I pretended 2 be happy, although I was secretly very concerned about the evil person.


	3. Chapter 3

a/n: thx 2 all the readers!!! And im sry katrina, I thought telling every1 about ur problem would help u feel better! I never meant 2 hurt u!!

I walked into da white house. Me and my dad were in awe at how big it wuz. The president walked up to us. He was wearing a hawaiian t-shirt and flip-flops.

"hello everyone," said president. "as you know, my name is president fag. Let me show u 2 ur rooms."

Me, dad and president fag walked down a gigantic hallway 2 my room. There were so many pictures all around the wall; many of them were of mary-kate & ashley olsen. "Hey," I said to president fag. "do you like mary-kate & ashley?"

He smiled. "yeah!! They're my faves!" we hi-fived each other and I realized that maybe staying here wasn't going 2 be so bad after all.

Finally we arrived at my womb. It was pink and gigantic. There were posters of mary-kate and ashley spread out all around.

"hey, veronica," said president fag. "r u single?"

"umm," I said all confused-like. "yea…but I don't relli date older guiz, sry."

"oh that isnt wat I meant," he replied. "it's just that I have a hot son who I think u mite be interested in dating. His name is dyke casablankas. I adopted him after his dad went 2 jail and his stepmom died."

suddenly a blond boy walked up to us. He was so gorgeous. He looked into my eyez and for a brief few minutes I forgot all about my sadness and logan and the mystery stalker, but then he said he had to go and I felt sad again.

"wow," I said 2 da president. "ur son is really hot."

"veronica," said my dad. "I don't want u dating until ur older."

I began 2 protest, but the president but him. "it's been a long day veronica, y don't u get some sleep?? The sheets on ur carpet r made of velvet. Have a nice nap."

I jumped on my bed and fell asleep.

I had a dreeam about logan. He wuz telling me 2 be careful but I told him 2 shut up because he was a part of my past now. He ran away crying and I felt a little sad but it was only a dream.

I woke up 2 the sound of horrible screams. Curiously I walked out of my room and followed the screamz down the hallway. The screams was coming from a huge black door with a sign on it that said 'DO NOT CUM IN.'

If u no anything about me it is that I like 2 sneak around places im not supposed 2, so I just ignored the sign and opened the door.

I screamed at the horrible thing I was looking at!!!

I had oppened the door 2 a huge dungeon, and there were people being whipped and tortured. The prezident was standing in the middle, laughing at everyone's pain.

On the left side of the dungeon were sam and dean winchester from suppernatural. They were in agony making shoes while the president whipped them with one of his tentacles.

In the middle of the dungeon were jack and kate dawson from titanic. They were rapidly trying 2 make sandwhiches while the president whipped them with one of his tentacles. Also being whipped were lorelai and rory gilmore.

And finally on the right side of the dungeon wuz my dad, who was trying to make clothes, while the prezident was whipping him with three tentacles! Dyke casablancas was with him. Poor dyke; he did not know that his new father was secretly a horrible monster.

I screamed when the president realized I wuz here. "ahh, veronica!" he shouted. "glad u could join us. WELCOME 2 HELL! HA HA HA!"

Before he captured me w/ his tentacles, my last thought wuz of the beautiful face of logan, which I didn't know if I wud live to see again.


	4. Chapter 4

a/n: why r u guiz flaming??? i showed this story 2 my bff katrina and she said it was relli good. Don't u no a good fic when u see it?? Oh, btw katrina, do u want 2 see transfoamers? Mitchell can't cum though because he's a shitty bf and I don't want u 2 get back with him.

It haz been a week since I was captured by president fag. For the past week me and the other people that the president captured have been working as slaves. I so much wanted 2 call logan and tell him to rescue me, but my cell did not get reception, and even if it did, the president would eat me.

We weren't getting fed a lot of food. My dad wuz doing really bad and he only weighed about 59 pounds.

"vexonica," said my dad. "things r not going well for me…I might not make it out of here alive."

I started 2 cry. "dad, stop it!! U will make it out of here alive!! We've been through so much lyke that 1 time when aaron echo almosot killed us, but we made it out of that and we will make it out of this!! OK?? DO U HEAR ME?"

He coughed up blood and it only made me cry even more.

Dean winchedder walked up 2 me. "omg…I havent had sex in over a month!! Veronica, do u want to do it?"

I looked at dean and normally I would've said yes because he is really hot on supernatural, but right now he was covered in blood and sweat and he wuz really disgusting. "um…no thx."

He didn't listen. He jumped on me and tried to have sex with me. I screamed and president fag appeared and smacked dean with his tentacle. Dean fell to the ground, dead. "no sex allowed in the dungeon!" president shouted, and then walked away.

Dean's brother sam ran over to dean's corpse, crying. I started to cry 2 because I feared that the same thing wud happen with me and my dad.

Rory gilmore tapped me on the shoulder. "hey veronica, guess wat."

"wat?" I felt bad 4 rory. Her mom lorelai had commited suicide a few days ago and she was pretending not 2 be sad but I cud tell she relli was.

"well, me, sam, dyke and jack have found a way 2 escape," said rory. "there is a secret door that the president doesn't kno about that will take us 2 the outside world. We're going 2 leave 2nite."

I gasped with excitement. "can my dad cum?"

Rory frowned. "im sry veronica but ur dad is inches from death. He will only slow us down. So say ur goodbies."

I began 2 cry as I walked over 2 my dad. "veronica…is that u?"

"yea, dad, it is," I replied.

"im dying, veronica," he whispered. "lol…im dying…" he was trying 2 be funny and not make me sadder than I already wuz.

I sighed. "dad, we've found a way 2 escape."

"veronica…do u remember that peom I used 2 sing 2 us?" dad asked. "the time has cum the walrus said."

"to talk of many things."

"of shoez and ships and sealing wax."

"of cabbages and kings!!" I cried. "oh, dad, im going 2 miss u so much wen u go 2 detective heaven. Do u think nancy drew will be ther?"

He laughed. "im sure of it. Ill get her autograph 4 u for when it's ur time to go to detective heaven."

"oh dad," I laughed. "I don't ever plan on dying. Im goin g 2 stay here and fight!!"

He smiled. "hoooooz ur daddy," he said, like a broken record. And then he died.

I wuz so sad.


	5. Chapter 5

a/n: WTF IS UR GUIS PROBLEM??? Look im sry if ur writing talent isnt as advanced as mine but u shuddnt have 2 take it out on me! My stori is amazing and if ur all 2 blind 2 see that, well then u can just go shut up and have sex with a hippopatamus okay??? Oh and BTW katrina I hate u!! I TOLD u not 2 bring mitchell to transfoamers but u did!! U have 2 decide now, wud u rather have ur boyfriend or ur bff??

It wuz a dark and stormy night. It waz the night that me and the udders were going 2 escape the president's dungeon. I missed logan so much.

"hay, veronica," samn said 2 me. "if we make it oot of here alive, do u want 2 go out?"

"no way you stupid bastard," I repplied. "I have a bf back in neptune, california and he is my tru love."

Anyway we all began to go through with our plan. Jack and kate dawson were going 2 dress up as mary kate and ashley olsen and distract president fag while we all escaped.

"omg, look who's here! It's marykate and ashley olsen!!!" I said, although I was not relli telling the truth.

Jack and kate were all dressed up in their olsen twins outfits and president fag excitedely slithered over 2 them. "omg, can we have ur autographs??"

Rory gilmore looked at me. "now!" she whispered.

Quickly, me, rory, dyke, and sam extied through the door. We were all very quiet so as to not alarm president fag. But suddenly, that sick perv sam winchedder touched my ass. I screamed.

"wat is going on???" asked president fag. He gasped when he saw all of us escapping. He started 2 scream and began to smack things with his tentacles. He ate jack and kate dawson.

"ill never let go, kate!!!" jack said as he and his gf were being digested. I felt a little sad 4 them.

Suddenly me and the other people found ourselves out of the dungeon. We ha d escaped from president fag!!! We all started huugging each other but I did not hug sam winchedder becuz he was a pedo.

Suddenly I threw up. "whats wrong?" dyke asked.

"idk!" I said.

"maybe ur pregnant?" asked rory.

I gasped. "no I don't think so im a virgin."

But then I remembered that I waz not a virgin becuz I had been raped. That stupid bitch madison sinchair gave me a drink with drugs in it and everyone in the town of neptune had their way with me. That means I cud be pregnant with anyone's baby!

"well cum on now," said dyke. "we need 2 go buy our plane tickets to escape from here and warn everyone that the president of america is secretly a horrible monster."

We went 2 the airport and bought our tickets 4…

Oceanic airlines flight 815!!!!!11


	6. Chapter 6

a/n: OMG WAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF U????/ did u even read this?? this story is realli gud!! Fyi, I got an A in english class so obvusly I must be doin sumthin right!!! I bet if I showd dis fic 2 ron tomas (da creator of veronica mars) he wud think it wuz the best fanfici!!! And katrina, im so sry I wuz mean 2 u!! I decided that u can go out with mitchell and we can still be frenz.

The plane took me back 2 neptune, california. I waz so happy 2 be back in my hometown and away from the evil people.

I looked at my surrondings and realized that I waz closest to my friend wallice. Quickly I ran 2 his house and banged on the door. "wallice!!!" I shooted.

Wallice answered da door and invited me in. "veronica, I thot u moved 2 washington dc."

"I did but it turned out that the president is sexretly a horrible monster," I said. "he killed my dad and now I am a orphan." I began 2 cry.

Wallice screemed like a girl. He is gay. His boyfriends name is clarence weedman and they r fighting 2 let gay marriage be allowed in neptune. "we have 2 go tell someone that the prezident is evil!! U'll be famous!"

Quickly we began to run outside of the house, but sum1 was blocking our way. It was………………………

Alyssa fennel!!!!!!1

"where do u think your going??" she asked in an evil way, holding a butcher knife. Suddenly tentacles popped out of her body. Wallice and I both screamed. H is mom waz secretly an evil monster like president fag!

I snatched the butcher knife from her slimy, filthy tentacle and I stuck it into her hart. She fell 2 the floor, dead.

"I cant believe my mom was a horrible beast," announced wallice. "well cum on, we have 2 go talk to mayor lamb."

Wallice and I jumped in wallice's blackmobile (in addition to being gay, wallice is also black) and we drove to the town center. We ran inside and mayor lamb was sitting at his desk. "wat can I do 4 u?"

I sat down and told mayor lamb my entire story. He waz crying becuz my heroic adventure was so heartwarming and touching and sad. Lamb called sum reporters and they all ran 2 us 2 interview me.

An hour l8r my face and my news story waz on every news channel. I had becum a celebrity. I waz getting fone calls from so many people wanting my autograff.

"gud news every1!" said lamb. "president fag is being arrested and impeeched. He will nno longer be prez."

Me, wallice and lamb hi-fived each other. I waz so happy becuz justice would finally be served and I had avenged my dads death.

Suddenly sum1 ran into the town center and jumped into my arms and hugged me. It waz…………

LOGAN ECHO!!!!!!!111


	7. Chapter 7

a/n: stop dissing dis story!!! Stop it now!!! I red some of da other fics on dis site and they werent even that good ok?? their all 2 depressing so just shut up!!! Katrina, I will nut go 2 see harry potter 5 at midnight w/ u!! harry potter is a fag!!

XXX WALLICE'S POV XXX

I watched as veronica and logan began to hug each other and make out.

"logan, I have so much explaining 2 do!!" veronica said. "I waz a bitch 2 you on the phone only becuz I was moving away to washington dv and I didn't want u 2 be sad."

There was tears in logan's eyes. "im so happy. Now we can b 2gether in perfect harmony." They started 2 have sex.

I felt a little jealous becuz I waz not having sex with any1. I turned to mayor lamb. "hey, do u want 2 do it?"

He said yes and we started jumping on each other and having sex and everything.

Suddenly, sum1 walked into da room. It waz…………..

MY BOYFRIEND, CLARENCE WEEDMAN!!!!11

He started 2 scream when he saw me having sex with mayor lamb. Quickly I ran up 2 him trying to explain myself.

"wallice, wat is going on???" he asked.

"clarence, im so sry!" I shooted. "veronica and logan were having sex and I waz a little jealous so I had sex with dan lamb. I didn't want 2 break up with u or anything, I promise!!! I luv u, clarence!!!"

clarence started 2 cry, and not in a happy way. "well guess wat, mr. fennel!! I just got gay marriage legalized in neptune but u no wat? I don't even want 2 marry u anymore. So its over between us!"

I started 2 scream. Clarence walked outside and I begged 4 him 2 cum back but he just didn't.

Veronica began 2 hug me. "im so sry, wallice."

But I did not want 2 be hugged. I shoved her off of me and I took out a gun!!!! Everyone screamed. "since I cannot be happy, I do not want any of u 2 be hapyp! I am going 2 kill everyone in this roolm!"

I shot mayor lamb. He died. "get ready 4 death, vexonica and logan!!"

"no!! don't!!" shouted veronicda and logan. "think of wat ur doing!"!

I began 2 shoot them when suddenly…

A disgusting slimy tentacle suddenly appeared and snatched the gun from my palm! I turned 2 see who it waz. It was……………

TOY VANDERLAFF!!!!!!!!11


	8. Chapter 8

a/n: omg u guys have lyke no life. Y do u care so much about a fictional character??? I hate 2 break it 2 u guys but veronica mars isnt real and dis is only a fanfic!!! U guys need 2 go take a bath and stop stressing over a fanfic for god's sake. One of u said u were going 2 kill urself over this fanfic, well im sry but u have a lot of issues u need 2 work out. Btw katrina cum over!!! I just got a playstation #!!!

i screamed. Toy vandergraph began 2 cackle. He was wearing a shirt that said princess on it and his shoes were from payless. His tentacles were dripping with slime.

"hello veronica!!" he shouted. "long time no see. Well,guess wat! A whole army of tentacle monsters are building up!! Da people u least suspect are secretly horrible, evil beasts like me, alyssa fennel, and president fag!! Hahaaha!"

Logan began 2 cry. "wat do u want from us???"

"we want 2 enslave the human race and take earth for ourselfs!!" he replied.

Suddenly I kicked toy in the gut. He fell to the ground in much pain. He was dying. "well, well veronica. U may have killed me, u may have killed alyssa, and u may have imprisoned president fag, but u will never be able 2 stop the army of tentacle monsters!! There r thousands of us!!" then he died.

Logan and I started 2 cry. Wallice was sitting in the corner, sucking his thum. Suddenly deputy slacks ran into the place. "I just heard about wat happened. Wallice, u are under arrest for killing mayor lamb. u are going to go to neptune prison for a minimum of 5 years."

I looked at wallice. "wallice, this might be the last time we see each other ever again since u are going 2 prsion. Well, thanks 4 being a gud friend 2 me. It really sucks that u had 2 go and kill a guy." Then deputy slacks took him away.

Logan looked at me with puppy dog eyes. "veronicca, do u really think that some of our family and frenz are secretly tentacle monsters?" I sighed. "yea, I believe so." He sighed. "well who can we trust?" I sighed. "we can trust no 1. we have 2 build up an army of people that we know arent evil."

We went 2 mac's dorm, looking 4 help.

"mac!" we said. "can u help us destroy the evil tentacle monsters?"

She nodded. "yea, I can. I think I can hack into the government and find a list of people hoo r tentacle monsters."

"ok," said logan. "while u do that, me and veronica r going 2 watch new york minute." Me and logan sat on da couch and began 2 watch it. It is my favorite movie. "I hope marykate and ashley are not tentacle monsters," I muttered sadly.

Logan and I began 2 make out. We began 2 have sex, but then I remembered sumthin. "logan, we cant have sex, for I am pregnant."

"with hoo?" he asked in an upset way.

"Idk," I replied. "remember that nite when I was rapped? Well, any1 in neptune cud be the father or mother of my baby."

"ok u guys!!!" said max. "I found a list of people hoo r tentacle monsters." We ran over 2 the computer to look at the list. When I saw the list of names, I gasped.


	9. Chapter 9

a/n: STOP giivng me bad revoos!!! Stop it now!!!!11 katrina we need 2 talk!! I think mitchell mite like cristina ok if so its ok becuz he wasn't that gud of a bf anywayz.

Logan and I runned over 2 da computer 2 see the list of people hoo waz tentacle monsters.

But suddenly…something huge jumped into da dorm and destroyted the computer!!! I gasped when I realized wat it was. it was piz hoo was a tentacle monster!! "I shouldve known u were a monster!!" I shouted at him. "good-harted peoplee dont put sex tapes of us doing it on da internet!!"

He cackled. "veronica, I am going 2 kill logan and mac!!!"

Mac and logan were both crying in the corner. "no!!! please don't!!" I looked at piz's hideous face and said 2 him "wat do I have 2 do 4 u not to kill my bffs??"

Piz got a look of purr evil on his slimy, greasy face. "yes, dere is 1 way for me not 2 kill mac and logan. Veronica,u must cum with me 2 my evil layer where u will be my tentacle bride!!"

I gasped. "no!! please!! I love my boyfriend logan!!! I am pregnant with his baby!!" I did not no if logan waz really da father of my baby but it didn't matter becuz I planed on raising him with the belief that logan was his dad.

Piz started 2 twiddle his thums lyke the stupid whore that he waz. "that is the only way that I will not kill max and logan!! I will raise da baby as my own!!!"

I looked into logans beautiful puppy eyes. I luved him so much and I wanted so much 2 just run away with him, 2 a place without any tentacle monsters and were we could live hopefully ever after. But I new that if I wanted logan and max 2 live, which I did, I had 2 do something very hard.

"take me, piz!!" I cried. "take me 2 ur layer where I will be ur tentacle bride." Piz laughed. Then he swept me with his tentacle and began to fly outside.

XXX PIZ'S POV XXX

finally I have kidnapped veronica!! We will be so happyy 2gether!!! Soon she shall eb saying "logan hoo?" ha ha ha ha!

XXX MAC'S POV XXX

I was so scared and sad and I felt so bad 4 logan hoo had just lost his true luvl.

XXX PIZ'S POV XXX

Ha ha ha ha!!!111

XXX LOGAN'S POV XXX

I was so sad.


	10. Chapter 10

a/n: dere is nuttin wrong w/ me!! D ere is sumthin wrong w/ all of u 4 thinkin dis story is bad cuz its not!!!1 katrina, u left ur cherrie cola here, d o u still want it cuz I mite drink it. Lol cristina better not drink sum cherrie cola, she already weighs like 3000 lbs!! LOL!!

Piz took me 2 his huge castle. I was so scared. I did not even no were the castle waz, but I did no I was not in california anymore (a:n:, lol get it like in da wizard of ooz!!!).

So I was taken into da castle and I looked around. It waz akshully a relli nice castle. 2 bad piz the gay stupid whore slut fag lived dere. He luked at me. "so uh yea, dis is mah bachelor pad, lol. Well anyway u can have any room u want. Do u want a drink or sumthin?? I had juicy juice but I drank it all."

I sighed. "no thx. I think ill just use da bafroom." He pointed 2 it and I walked inside. I sat down on da toilet.

Suddenly I heard a voice. "hay, waddup??" I looked around, curiously. "um hoo is in here???" I searched da bafroom but I found nuthin. Then I looked at the toilet and I screamed. There waz eyes and a nose and everything on the toilet.

"OMG R U A TALKING TOILET???" I screamed.

"yea," da toilet said. "my name is parka. I used 2 be max's roommate, remember??" I remembered. "o yea, I do. So, um, if u dont mind me askin, parka, y r u a toilet???" 

She giggled. "well it's a very long stori. Let me begin. Do u remember when piz put a video of u and him having sex on da internet? Well, a witch was so mad at him 4 doin dat dat she cast a horrible spell on him. She turned him into a horrible tentacle monster and turned every1 around him into objectz. Da only way dat we can becum humans again is if u manage 2 forgive piz 4 being a total asshole 2 u."

"datz cool," I replied. "hoo else turned into objects?"

"well, weevil turned into a pool table, jackie turned into a game of monopoly, and baclkup turned into a kit kat bar but we ate him," said parka.

Jackie who was now a game of moonpoly walked into da bafroom. "hey veronica. How is wallice doin??" I answered, "hes in prison 4 shootin mayor lamb." she replied, "oh. Well let me take u 2 ur room."

Jackie and parka took me upstairs 2 my room. Weevil da pool table came w/ them.

"do u want anythin 2 eat??" weevil asked. "we had a kit kat bar but we ate it." I moaned. "no thx, ill just get it myself."

Weevil, jackie and parka started 2 sing and dance. "be my guest!!! Be my guest!! Dat stupid cristina is such a pest!!"

I was so impressed at their talent of singing and dancing. "wow, dats so good. U guis should be on braunway. Well, I mean, if u were people again."

Jackie, weevil and parka looked a little sad. "hey, don't be sad," I said. "u guiz are inanimate objectz, u can sleep and sing and dance as much as u want and u don't have 2 worry about life or college or relationships (Omg I missed logan so much!!!11)."

"but u see veronica," said parka. "da best part of living is getting to deal with stress. Wats da point of being alive if all ur going 2 do is sleep and get fat all day? Datz not cool. Boy I wish I cud have da feeling of worrying about an exam again."

Parka's words touched me in a way I cannot describ. No not in dat way u weirdo.

"dinnertime!!!" announced piz.


	11. Chapter 11

a/n: I hate u all!!! Guess wat my aunt is a magician 4 birthday parties and if i ask her 2 she'll help me cast evil spells on all of u!!! Im like harry potter except not becuz he's gay!!!

I sat down at da dinner table with piz. I looked at da food on da table. Dere was a box of special k cereal (a/n: katrina, it's ur favorite!!!), lego waffles, human brains, bertie botts every flavor beans, diet pepsi, chipps ahoy, and spongebob-shaped cheese nips.

"WTF IS THIS?" I shouted.

"its dinner," answered piz. I was so shocked. "umm, all dis food is not dinner food! First of all, special k and leggo waffles are 4 breakfast. Humans brains r just gross. Bertie botts are from harry potter hoo is a stupid fag. Diet pepsi is not 4 me becuz im not fat like that stupid bitch cristina, and chips ahoy and cheese nips r just bleh!"

Piz began 2 howl. He shook up the room. Parka, weevil and jackie ran over 2 him to try 2 comfort him. "she didn't mean any harm!! She was just trying 2 give u constructive critcism!!" but piz didn't listen. He howled and howled and howled.

I did not want 2 be here so I just ran back 2 my room, shouting "piz, u r so gay!!" then I went 2 my room and cried because I missed logan and neptune so much.

XXX PARKA'S POV XXX

"wtf is her problem??" aksed piz. "I do so much 2 make her feel happy here, but she's still upset like sum gay little emo kid."

I sighed. "piz, u need 2 do somethin really special 4 her. Sumthin that will touch her heart."

XXX VERONICA'S POV XXX

I was on my bed crying when sum1 nocked on the door. It was parka.

"I don't feel like talking parka!!!" I cried. She smiled. "piz has sumthin that I think u'll want 2 see."

I was still upset. "no thx, I don't want 2 talk to him, I hate him!!" parka said, "but veronica, dis is realli important!! Cum on!!!" I decided 2 cum with her and she took me downstairs.

I GASPED WHEN I SAW WHAT WAS HAPPENING. There was a million camera men and a bunch of celebrities all around the castle. They all stared at me and shouted "HELLO VERONICA MARS!! WELCUM 2 UR VERY OWN SUPER SWEET 16!!!"

Parka looked at me and I looked at her. "hoo set dis up for me!?" parka nodded toward piz. "he did!!"

XXX PARKA'S POV XXX

I walked over 2 piz and we watched veronica have a great time. We could tell that she had never had a party as cool as dis one.

"she looks happy," said piz sadly.

"yea," I repplied. "maybe she'll be able 2 break da curse…"

Suddenly 2 people arrived at the front door. Veronica answered it, and she screamed. "OMG!!!! IT'S MARY KATE AND ASHLEY OLSEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


	12. Chapter 12

a/n: y do u guys not like dis?? Ok u no wut im thinkin of submittin dis story in a writing competition dat my town has and I bet it'll win first prize and den u all wont be laffin!!! Katrina if u want ill go over ur story about da princess hoo has sex w/ her brother!!!

My supper sweet 16 was da best expurience of my entire life. I got autograffs frum mary-kate and ashley olsen and dey told me I waz really pretty. They r a lot thinner and prettier in person. I got really drunk w/ juttin timberlake hoo was at da party too.

We were all out of pretzels so dat means da party wuz almost over. I walked over 2 piz. "u no wat piz…dis was really nice of u. it makes me 4get all da shitty things u've done 2 me in the past. Well piz, I…i…for—"

"SAY IT SAY IT SAY IT!" shouted weevil, jackie and parka.

"I forget hoo played cerdic diggory in da forth harry pooter movie," I exclaimed. Piz sighed. "it waz robert pattinson."

Den I said something else. "oh btw piz, I 4give u for being a total asshole!!!"

SUDDENLY A BLINDLING LIGHT SWEPT DA ROOM. EVERYONE BEGAN TO SHRIEK. I gasped as parka, weevil and jackie slowly changed back 2 dere normal human figures!! When they changed back, they were all naked so they blushed.

And den piz slowly changed from his hideous tentacle form into his normal appearance (a/n: is it just me or doez piz look like zack efron??? He is s0 hot!!!11). Piz looked at himself. He was naked. 

I jumped on him and exclaimed, "Do me!!!" we started 2 have sex. I was just about 2 reach da climax when suddenly…

A BUNCH OF PEOPLE JUMPED THROUGH THE GLASS AND INTO DA CASTLE!!! It was…..President fag, wallice, aaron echo, assidy, mayor goody, moe, mercer, and tim foil!!

"wat is going on?!?!" I asked.

"ha ha ha!" exclaimed president fag. "I have released all da bad guys from prison!! The curse may have just been broken, but it won't matter becuz all the bad guys will be killing you!!! Ha ha ha!"

all hell broke lose just then. All da bad guys started running around da room smacking people and injuring them. It was da most horrible experience of my life and one I wud tell my grandchildren about if I lived 2 see them.

Parka was punched in the knees by assidy. Jackie was kicked in da balls by tim foil. And weevil was being kicked in the ass by aaron echo. Piz was being strangled by moe.

"veronica!!" shouted piz, being strangled. "im so sorry dis had 2 happen!!!" I cried, "its ok!!! At least, if we die, the curse was broken!!"

suddenly wallice ran up 2 me. There was a look of evil in his eyes. He had a gun. "veronicaa!" he shouted. "I am going 2 kill u rite now."

"no, wallice!" I exclaimed. "u were my best friend 4 too years!! That third year idk u kinda just hid in da shadows. But cum on, I...luv u?" I said dat w/ a question mark cuz it wasn't really true. I don't date outside my race ok im not racist or anythin.

Wallice was shedding a tear. "rly?" I sighed. "yea, sure." We began 2 hug, when suddenly president fag shouted at wallice "STOP HUGGING HER!!! U MUST KILL HER!"

Sadly wallice took out a gun and pointed it at my head. My wife flashed be4 my eyes. He was going 2 pull da trigger when suddenly…SUM1 ELSE JUMPED INTO DA CASTLE. It was…

CLARENCE WEEDMAN!!!! He walked up 2 wallice. "wallice, if veronica can 4give piz, den I can 4give u!! let's get married!" they hugged. Everyone in da room hoo wasn't fainted cheered.

"damn it!!!" shouted president fag. "IS IT SO MUCH 2 ASK FOR A LITTLE DEATH?!" he took da gun from wallice and was about 2 shoot me…

quickly I ran away from da gun and jumped into the fireplace where I threw some floo powder in the air and shouted "anywere butt here!!!" suddenly the magical fireplace took me 2 somewhere I did not know…as I disappeared, I heard everyone shouting "go veronica mars go!"


	13. Chapter 13

a/n: so umm I decided dat maybe harry potta isnt so bad…its only bad when stupid fat sluts like cristina like it!! So yea im going 2 see dat 2nite, is any1 else??? ANYWAY DON'T FLAM DIS BECUZ IT'S GUD.

I looked at my surroundings. I had no idea were I waz. All I new was that I was not in piz's castle anymore. It looked lyke I was in sum woods.

"helloo???" I shouted. "is anybody dere??"

Suddenly a bunch of people walked up 2 me. It was 3 girls and a older woman. They looked at me. "hoo r u??"

I did not no wut to say. "umm…hoo r u?"

The first girl introduced herself. "mah name is heather!!" I remembered her as da girl hoo had tried to get me and logan back 2gether after I broke up with him. da sexond girl introduced herself. "I am tina!!" I recognized dis girl…she was da 1 who had stolen lily cain's necklace from me a while ago. Then the third girl spoke. "I am lily cain jr!!" I gasped when I realized dat she was my old bf duncan's daughter.

All 3 of dese girls was from my past!!! Then the olda woman spoke, "I am selma hearst-rose, a camp counselor for camp tinkerbell which is for orphan children!!"

I felt bad for all the girls because they were orphans. "o, well, um, im an orphan too. My name is um….george glass. Can I join ur camp?"

"how old r u?" asked selma hearst-rose.

"twelve," I replied. (a/n: veronica can pass off 12 ok!!!)

So I was taken back 2 da camp where I saw all the other orphan children. I felt so bad 4 all of them, but then I remembered that I was an orphan too, so I stopped feeling sorry 4 them and start feeling sorry 4 me.

I desperately needed 2 get out of the camp and find logan or piz (either one cud serve as a good bf) but until I had the chance 2 escape, I wud pretend 2 be a 12 year old orphan girl.

I was taken 2 my cabin where me and the other girls prepared to go 2 sleep. Tina stared at me. "y r u so fat???"

"well fyi, tina, I aM PREGNANT, not fat, u stupid bitch!" I exclaimed.

Tina shook her hips. "I thot u were 12!!"

I smacked her. "I am, u stupid moron. Is it ILLEGAl for a 12 y ear old girl 2 get pregnant?! Damn it, ur so stupidd!"

Dat night it was very hard 2 sleep because all the girls in my cabin were crying because they were all orphans.

I started 2 cry too.

My dad and mom was dead, piz and the others might be getting killed by president fag at dis very moment, and the tentacle monsters are on a mission to destroy the world. Also, Im pregnant, I have 2 choose between logan and piz, and not 2 mention that im still being stalked by a mysterious stalker hoo killed miss dent.

All I hoped was dat no matter wat happened, my baby who was curently in my womb would live a fulfilling life.


	14. Chapter 14

a/n: ok so I saw harry potter last nite and it waz really gud and I think u guiz shud see it ok. I mean its not as good as dis fic but it cums pretty close. Anywayz u guis I'm going on vakshun for a week so I probs wont be updatin 4 a few days!! Im goin 2 penn state college 2 visit my brotoher, SEE if I have a brother hoo goes 2 college im probably smart 2!!!!11

me, heather, tina and lily cain jr. were playing volleyball. We were having so much fun. It was da most fun I had had in a while since u no my life has been so much depressing lately.

"I am having so much fun!" exclaimed lily cain jr. "I wwish dis volleyball game cud never end."

Everything was in perfect happyness…UNTIL SUDDENLY A GIANT SPACESHIP LANDED AT THE CAMP!! Every1 began 2 scream. We watched as a bunch of horrible people came out of the spaceship. It was…president fag and his league of villains!!!

President fag slithered up 2 me. "ha ha ha! U thought u were safe here, didn't u?! Well, u were wrong! I found u and now your finally going 2 get wat u deserve!!"

"ur going 2 kill me?!?!" I shrieked.

"not right now," he repplied. "I want 2 torture u first! Aaron echo, please cum over here!" Aaron echo walked over 2 president fag and fag whispered something in his ear. Aaron laughed and then looked at me. He jumped on me and started 2 rape me.

I was so sad. "HELP!! PLZ SUMBODY!!"

as I was getting rapped I looekd around and realized dat heather, tina and lily cain jr. were being whipped by mercer and moe. Camp counselor selma hearst-rose ran outside to us.

"plz help us!!!" I exclaimed.

But she didn't. instead she grew tentacles and I began 2 cry at the shocking realization that she, too, was a tentalce monster.

"no!! ms. Hearst!! You've been brainwashed!!!" I screamed. But she didn't lissten.

Suddenly I used my super sexy kung-fu karate moves to kick aaron echo. He fell 2 the ground, in seering pain. President fag angrily licked his tongue. "guess wat, vexonica!! Do u want 2 no where ur friends are?? Well I'll tell u!! THEIR ALL DEAD. I KILLED THEM ALL. PIZ, PARKA, WEEVIL, JACKIE, WALLICE, CLARENCE WEEDMAN, LOGAN AND MAX!! HA HA HA!"

There was a horrible silence that filled the air. I was so sad. It waz my fault all my friends was dead. I bust into tears. I looked into president fag's shit-colored eyes and there was a gleam of lying in them.

Quickly I slapped mercer and moe and took the children with me. We ran 2 the nearby camp bus and jumped onto it.

"where r u taking us???" asked heather..

"it doesn't matter!!" I shooted. I began 2 drive the car.

Tina shook her hips. "if ur 12, how cum u no how to drive a bus???" I told heather and lily cain jr. to beat her up and they did.

I sighed. All my friends was dead (or were they??) and I had three orphan girls with me. That's when I made da decision dat wud change my wife forev er.

I was going 2 adopt heather, tina and lily cain jr. we wud move away 2 somewhere very far from neptune and start a new life, where no one knew me and where no tentacle monsters cud find me.

"ok so u guys…," I began. "im nut really 12 years old…,"


	15. Chapter 15

a/n: hay u guiz!! My vaccination wuz relli gud!! I went 2 horshey park and I ate so much chocklate lol!!! Well anyway now Im bak and itz time 2 get serius. Katrina…we need 2 talk omg u need 2 listen 2 me. Wat mitchell is doing 2 u is horrible and u need 2 do somethin about it!! Plz talk 2 me!!

It has been 4 years since I escapped from da rath of president fag and his league of villains. Me, heather, tina and lily cain jr. moved into an apartment in detroit. We had like no money for a while becuz I was too depressed 2 get a job. I mean if all of ur family and friends had been killed by a tentacle monster, u'd be depressed 2.

But everythin changed when I met a guy. His name was…mitchell mason!!! He was rich and stuff and he told me I was bootiful. He owned a bunch of hotels and jewlry store chains. 2gether we moved into a nice suburban home. He did not no anythin about my past. I told him that my name was katrina and 4 da past few years I've been living as a housewife and we havent been bothered by any tentacle monsters.

He treated heather, tina and lily cain jr. as his own daughters and he waz a relli gud father 2 them. Eventually I birthed my bebe and I told mitchell that it wuz his and he beleeved me but it is not the truth. The baby was a bootiful boy and I named him chloe after da charcter dat ashley olsen played in her tv series so little tiem.

Sadly I still do not no hoo da fatha or mother of chloe is but I wanted mitchell 2 think ti was his becuz chloe deserves 2 have a father.

Anyway it was a bootiful day in our suburban town. Heather, tina and lily cain jr. left 4 da bus 2 school (they are in junior pie now). Mitchell wuz getting redi for work.

I turned on life with regis and kelly. Mary-kate and ashley were da guests. Mitchell walked over 2 me. "turn dat tv off and have sex with me."

I laughed. "no wai, ur not da boss of me!" suddenly there was a fit of rage in his face. He smacked me. "shut up, katrina!!! U r stupid!! I am da man of da hoose and U WILL LISTEN 2 ME!!! DO U UNDERSTAND?!?!"

I wuz so scared. "yes!!! Im so sry, bb!! I will have sex w/ u!!" we had sex but I was so depressed. 4 da past year or so, mitchell has been horrible like dis. I have learned dat u do not need 2 be a tentacle monster 2 be a monster. I wanted so much 2 just escape and be with logan or piz, but I knew that was unpossible. They were both death and I had alredi established a life here in detroit. Anyway mitchell left and I went back 2 da tv set.

Da news was on. Da woman on da tv said "2day is da anniversary of da mysterious disappearances of a bunch of kids from neptune. Veronica, logan, max, parka, weevil, wallice, clarence weedman, and piz were all ur normasl teewns until suddenly dey just vanished. No 1 nos if dey are still alive. Mysteries has been unsolved since vexonica was da best mysteri solva in da world. O also no 1 still nos where president fag and da league of villains r. hopefully we can presume dat dey r dead becuz it wud relli suck if there were a bunch of evil people on da loose. Vexonica mars, were r u????/"

I began 2 cry. Suddenly dere was a knock on da door. I answered it. It was…

Rory gilmore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "OMG!" I shouted. "rory gilmore, wat r u doin here???"

She examined. "veronica, I have 2 tell u stuff. I have been lookin 4 u 4 a while nowee. Anyway, according 2 my research, ur friends are all still alive. They have been taken 2 president fag's giant castle in da sky and they r being tortured."

I gasped. "they need 2 be reskooed!!"

She lungered. "it is all up 2 u, vexonica mars. U need 2 save them. Only u can,. U must take a plain 2 the castle, and then u must find da three magical stars that are hidden around the castle. U must jump into magical paintings that will take u 2 different worlds where u must look 4 da stars. Once u get all 3 stars, u will be able to have the final shoedown with president fag."

I thumped. "rory gilmrore, I cant!!! I have a life here and everythin!!" rory looked at the horrible scar on my face where mitchell had beaten me. She lisped. "veronica…where did u get dat scar?"

I franked. "o um dere was a bear amd he atacked me and everythin...," it wuz obvious dat I waz lying. I bust into tears. "omg ok my husband is beating me!"

Rory trailed. "veronica, u need 2 get away from hurr. I will watch ur 4 kids and handle ur evil husband mitchell."

She and I hugged. Rory was da best friend dat I had had in 4 years. It was relli sad.

I left 4 da airport, leaving my suburban home behind. I was so scared becuz there was going 2 be so much terror in my footure.

But I wud be ready…….


	16. Chapter 16

a/n: STOP FLAMMIN G. WAT IS W RONG WITH ALL OF U. JUST SHUT UP. I h8 u!! I am so fcking pissed of right now!! Especially at u, gay katrina!! Dats wat da village people call u, gay katrina! LOL!!! Oh btw, do any of u guiz have livejournals??? Im thinkin of getting 1!!!

I went 2 da areport and I walked up 2 da lady at da desk. "hello I wud like 1 plane ticket for a trip to da giant castle in da sky."

Da lady gasped. "miss, are u sure u want 2 go there?? A horrible tentacle monster lives there and any1 hoo goes there does not return!!"

I moaned. "its ok lady, I am veronica mars and I have 2 go there or else the tentacle monsters will destroy the world."

Errbody looked at me with respect. "no autograffs plz."

XXX JACKIE'S POV XXX

I was being whipped. By assidy. It relli hurt. "plz!! Plz stop!!"

Assidy started 2 dance around, singing girlfriend by avril lavigne. It was so annoying. All da other villains were whipping everyone else. It was so depressing. Eventually da villains left and we were all alone in our cage.

Weevil gleemed at parka. "hay. Do u want 2 have sex?"

"yea," she replieed. They began 2 jump on each other but then stopped because they were in so much pain from their whippings.

Clarence weedman was stroking wallice's hair. "your so beautiful, baby." I felt really bad 4 them becuz they were so much in love and I relaly wanted 2 see them gwet married.

Logan moaned. "damn it!! I am sick of just sitting around heree getting whipped! We need 2 escape!"

Mac said., "wat can we do?! President fag is stronger than usa!!"

Piz looked at logan. They hated each othrr becuz they were both in love with veronica mars. "look," said piz. "I think if we puit our hatred aside, and we work 2gether, we will be able to escap from here and defeat president fag. R u game?"

"hell yes,"said logan. There was tears in his eyes.

Everyone starrted looking around 4 a door, but the only door was on e that was locked and we did not have the key.

"wat can we do?!?!" asked masc.

"I have a idea!" I exclaimed. "aaron echo, plz cum here!"

Aaron echo walked into our cage. He was wearing a tight pink shirt that said 'hottie.' Written on his butt were the words 'please touch.'

All sexily I said, "hdey aaron. Do u want 2 do it??" "yea!!" he shouted.

Quicklyt we jumped on each other and started 2 have sex. He was so much having sex that he didn't notice that I had taken a key from his pocket. "dat wuz really gud," he said 2 me.

"ok bi," I said.

Aaron left. I showed everyone da key. They all jumped with joy.

"maybe finally we'll be able 2 escape and get married," wallice said to clarence.

I took the key out and opened the door. But suddenly…an alarm went off!!! "DA PRISONERS R TRYING 2 ESCAPE!!" it shouted. "DA PRISONERS R TRYING 2 ESCAPE!!"

Suddenly aaron echo, assidy, mercer, moe, mayor goody, and tim foil ran in. "I cant believe u only had sexs with me 2 get the key," siad aaron.

"omg!" shouted parka. "quick, someone escape be4 they get us!"

Everyone lunged 4 da door but we were all stopped…except 4 weevil! Quickly he jumped out.

"go weevil go!!!" we all shouted.

We were all whipped extra hard that night, but it was worth it becuz we knew that weevil wud do whatever it takes 2 escap from here and rescue us all.


	17. Chapter 17

a/n: hay u guiz!!! I stood in lin at midnitrre last nite 2 get da last harry pooter book. I am reading it rite now and I relli hope dat harry doesn't die. but will I kill off veronica in dis fic?!?! Idk, u'll have 2 read and c!!! PS KATRINA I saw u at barnes and nooble last nite w/ mitchell and u both looked so fcking ugly 2gether!! I h8 u so much!! (p.s.s. dere r no hp soilers in dis fic!!!1)

Da plane dropped me off at president fag's giant castle in da sky. It was huge and beautiful. Nervously I walked inside. I was so afraid. Standing in front of me was a huge painting of hoggarts school of litchcraft and wizardy. I jumped into the painting and suddenly…

I wuz in hoggarts!!

Harry, ron and hermonie greeted me. "hay, wats up??" they all asked. I blushed. "nuttin much. Mah name is veronica mars, and I am looking 4 a magical star. I need 2 collect all 3 and then I will be able to defeat president fag."

"omg that sucks," said hermonie. "hey, did u no that president fag and lord voldemort dated in high school?"

I gasped. "no I didn't but it explans so much!"

"ya I read it in hoggarts a history."

Ron woofed. "ok if u want I will cast a spell that will help us find the magical star."

I thanked him and realized dat maybe finding all 3 magick stars and defeating president fag wasn't going 2 be very hard. Ron started 2 do a spell when suddenly……

Assidy appeared!! He was driving da magic school bus dat he had used 2 kill mag.

"I am going 2 run over all of u!!!" he shouted. "ha ha ha!"

he ran over ron, hermonie, and ahrry and they fell 2 the ground, unconsciende. I screamed. "no!! ron, please cast the spell!!!" but he was too much unconscience 2 say the spell.

Quickly assidy headed 4 my derekshun. I stole ron's wand and pointed it at assidy. "wingardium lavatoriosa!" assidy's bus blew up and hee died.

I gleemed at harry, ron and hermione. They were all going 2 die. It was relli sad seeing them in pain so I shouted "avada kedavra!!" at them and all 3 of them went 2 magic heaven.

Mr. dumbledore ran over 2 me. "veronica mars, I have been expectin u." but he stopped in midsentence when he realized dat harry, hermonie and ron were dead. He cried, then he spoke. "well, miss mars,. I have da magical star that u need up in my bedroom, but I will only give it 2 u if u do me a favor."

"do u want me 2 sleep with u?" I asked, unbuttoning my top.

"no thx," replied dumbledore. "I like boys, sry, and I have a boyfriend named clarence weedman. He left home a few years ago, promising 2 return, and I no that he will return sumday."

I did not tell dumbledore that clarence had left him 4 another man.

"well antyway," repleed dumbledore. "we need u 2 kill lord voldemort."

Voldemort appeared. "I am going 2 kill every1 rite now!!!"!

Dumbledore hid in a bush. I pointed my wand at voldemort. "no!! don't kill me!!"

"y not?!?!" he asked.

"becuz…becuz…," I mumbled. "Well becuz I know president fag, and I can get u 2 back 2gether."

Suddenly voldemort hesitated. I could tell that he was having a flashback. He showed me wat was going on in his mind. He was having a vision of when he was a teenager; he was at cold stone creamery, on a date with president fag, and they were sharing an ice cream Sunday.

"_u r so handsome," voldemort said 2 president fag. "I never want 2 take my eyes off of u."_

_president fag sighed. "voldemort…plz…im sry, but, we cannot go out anymore. Im afrtaaid ive fallen out of luv w/ u."_

_voldemort gasped. There were tears in his eyes. "…wat?"_

"_im sry, bb," replied fag. "there's a girl named alyssa fennel. Ive been having sex with her, and well, she's pregnant with my sperm. Its going 2 b a boy who we r going 2 name toy vandergraph. Im sry, but I need 2 go and be with her."_

_Voldemort started 2 scream and cry. It was so terrible. Then voldemort took out his wand. "I will cast a spell now!! TENTACALUS!!! This spell will turn u, alyssa, and ur filthy child into filthy tentacle monsters!!_

_He did the spell and then voldemort ran home, crying. His heart had been 4ever broken._

We snapped out of da flashback. Suddenly I felt a little bit sad 4 voldemort. He was not evil, just misundaerstood.l

"well, um," I said 2 voldemort. "president fag says…he says he's sry!! He is so sry 4 cheatin on u and every day he wishes he wuz back with u."

suddenly voldemort screamed. Light was surrounding him and he was dying. "thank u……," he muttered 2 me as he departed. Then he died.

Dumbledfore jumped out of da bush. "thank u so much veronica!!! I will give u da star!" dumbledore went 2 his room and den brought back da star.

"1 down, 2 to go!!" I exclaimed. "thx, dumbledore, and um, I hope everythin works out between u and clarence weedman."

"of course it will," replied dumbledore. "he only luvs me."

I used my wand 2 jump out of da painting, where i would look for the next magical painting.


	18. Chapter 18

a/n: don't flam dis ok just don't y do u have 2 flame y don't u be nice and give it a good revoo. Is dat so hard omg. KATRINA im entering dis fic in da county fair writing competition and it is SO going 2 beat out ur stupid gay story!!! U r so ugly!! Also I got a livejournal da link 2 it is in mah profile, but it is so hard 2 use, can sum1 help me w/ it??

I looked at da next magical painting that I had 2 jump into. It looked lyke a typikal american high school. I jumped into da painting and I looked at my surroundings. I wuz in a basketball court, and every1 around me was singin!!!

I was in east high, which is da high school from high school musical!!!11

"we're all in dis 2gether!!!" every1 sang.

Dey all stopped singing when dey realized dat I was dere. Troy who is played by piz who is played by zack efron ran over 2 me. "hoo r u?"

"hey sexy," I said. "my name is veronica mars. I come from california and I am looking 4 a magical star. Once I find all 3 I will be able to fight president fag."

Everyone gasped. Troy said, "omg we know about president fag. He…he used 2 be a teacher here."

Suddenly troy began 2 show me his memory like voldemort had done when I visited hoggarts.

_President fag walked into east high and was teaching da class. He had tentacles and all the students were making fun of him._

"_LOL u look so ugly!!" shooted the gay kid from high school musical._

_President fag started 2 cry. Suddenly a woman ran into the class. I recognized her as……camp counselor selma hearst-rose!_

"_everyone shut up and stop making fun of mr. fag's hideous tentacles!!" she shouted._

"_yes ms. Hearst-rose," everyone repeated._

_President fag was so flattered by ms. Hearst-rose's kindness. "thx u so much for helping me out!! Im so lonely these days. I used 2 have a boyfriend but he ran off to becum the dark lord after I cheated on him with a woman named alyssa who also left me, and she took our son 2. so now im all alone."_

"_that's so sad!!!" replied ms. Hearst-rose. "well, ill be ur friend."_

_Suddenly president fag bit ms. Hearst-rose. Tentacles sprung from her. "WTF DID U DO THAT 4?!?!"_

"_I thot u liked me!" defended president fag._

"_I felt sry 4 u!!" replied her. "I didn't want 2 be ur tentacle queen!"_

_Suddenly ms. Hearst-rose began 2 change. There was a gleam of evil in her eyes. "ok never mind I changed my mind. I decided that I want 2 help u enslave da human race!! Ha ha ha ha!"_

Da flashback ended. I was so confused. "y did ms. Hearst-rose suddenly becum evil?"

"becuz when u get bitten by a tentacle monster you automatically turn evil," answered troy. "inside every tentacle monster is a good harted person. Except for katrina and cristina. They are both tentacle whores."

"oh ok," replied me. "so can I get da star now?"

"yea," said troy. "but first, u need 2 get a basketball in da hoop." He hanted me a basketball and I threw it at da hoop and I made it.

Everyone clapped. They started 2 sing about how great shari and veronica was and how ugly katrina was. troy handed me da star.

"u no u remind me of piz," I said. "I miss piz so much. And I miss logan 2!! I don't know hoo 2 choose!"

"well ur always welcum hear at east high," said troy. "I will have sex with u anytime u want."

"thanx."

I jumped out of the painting and headed 4 da third and final one.


	19. Chapter 19

a/n: im submittin da first 19 chps of dis fic into my county fair writing competition ok!!! I will win frast place!!!! If ur name is katrina, mitchell, cristina or tiffany den go fck off!!!! Every1 add me on LJ!!! Thx!!!

I looked at da turd and final painting. It wuz of many clouds. Curiously, I jumped into da painting and I looked around. I wuz standing on a cloud and there were many clouds around me.

"were am I???" I said 2 myself. I started 2 hum the song gradmutation by vitamin c as I walked around until suddenly…SOMEONE JUMPED OUT AT ME!!! IT WAS…

ASSIDY ASABLANCAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

I was so confuzed and scared. "assidy, I thot u were dead!"

He replied, "I am, vexonica. We r in heaven." I gasped. Assidy started 2 walk and I followed him. I was so omged. Would it be that I cud have a sexond chance 2 say gudbi to my dad and da many other people whom I loved d at died?!?

Assidy stopped. We were at the olive garden italian restaurant. "datz cool dat they have olive garden in heaven." Assidy said, "yea, it is da most poopular restaurant. Next 2 cold stone creamery of course. Now go inside."

I walked inside and every1 was eating dinner. I saw…candall, lily cane, duncan cane, toy vandergraph, dean winchedder, lory gilmore, mag, dan lamb, miss dent, jack and kate dawson, backup, bambis mom, alyssa fennel, and my dad!

I runned over 2 my dad. "dad omg!1" he was sitting with alyssa fennel.

"hows life??" asked my dad. "no pun intended."

"not 2 gud!!" I replied. "I have had so much stress l8ly what with fightin president fag and everythin."

Alyssa began 2 cry. Keith handed her a handkachief. "wats wrong?" 

"o…nuthin…veronica just got so tall and its so beautiful," said alyssa, but I cud tell she was lying. She was akshully crying abot president fag, her first love, but I did not tell my dad that.

I ruffled. "dad, I miss u so much and its so hard down ther!! Cant I just commit suicide and live happily w/ u 4ever?"

Dad slapped me. "no! shari, u r strong and brave and beautiful. It is ur destiny 2 defeat president fag and save da world. I luv u."

I spinellied. "thank u. well…dad, im sorry 2 interrupt ur date, but do u think I cud borrow alyssa 4 a second?"

"ok," said dad as he returned 2 his p izza.

Alyssa and I walked into d a bafroom. Da tv show firefly by josh weedon was playing on da tv. Alyssa said, "in heaven, firefly lasted 7 seasons."

"datz cool," I replied. "but dat is not da reason I called u alone 4. alyssa…wallice has a half-brudder!!! How cud u never tell him?!?!"

Alyssa cried and cried. "it was so hard having 2 live 2 lives. I wud send wallice off 2 school, and then I wud go take care of toy vandergraph. They were both gleams of triumph in my eyes…but I just didn't want wallice 2 no that I was secretly a tentacle monster and had a tentacle son. It wud be 2 painful 4 him 2 hear."

I sighed. "despite ur tentacles, u've done a great job of raising him. He's engaged 2 a man named clarence weedman."

Alyssa griswalded. "u no I never did approve of his…wifestyle…but I guess silly things like ur saxual preference don't matter wen u r dead." (a/n: SEE I AM NOT A HOMOPHONE U STUPID FLAMMERS).

We walked out of da bafroom and I went over 2 da stage where toy vandergraph was singing karaoke. The song was we used 2 be friends by the dandy warhoes. He had such a beautiful singing voice. He walked off da stage. "hey veronica."

"hey toy," I replied. "so I heard…dat u and wallice are half brothers."

Toy detweillered. "yea…wallice never even new. We walked by each udder so much at high skewl and so much I wanted 2 tell him that we had da same blood. Infact wallice even asked me out 1nce but I had 2 turn him down becuz it wud be incest."

I felt bad for him. Dan lamb walked over 2 us. He made out with toy. Dan said, "do u no how president fag even becummed president?"

"n0."

"well, me and him were both running. I was a shoo in. but den president fag blackmailed me with pics of me havin a threesum with deputy slacks and toy. So I had 2 resign. And now…now he's going 2 enslave da human race!!! I ts all my fault!!" he cried.

Alyssa cried. "no!!! its my fault!!! I had sex with him, causing voldemort 2 do da spell!"

All dis crying was annoying me. I said, "hey, r katrina, cristina, mitchell or tiffany here??"

"no!!!" everyone shouted. "they're all in hell."

"kk," I replied. "o hay, where's da magick star?" Candall handed it 2 me. I took it. "thx…well. Its been relli gud seeing all of u again. I hope I don't have 2 see all of u 4 a very long time."

Alyssa looked at me w/ sad eyes, ffull of depressing secrets..

"I will save da day," I gretchened. "I promise." Everyone clapped as I departed back into da castle.

My fingers was crossed.


	20. Chapter 20

a/n: ok so I submatted da fic 2 da writing competition 2 day…it'll win!! U'll see!!! U'll all see!!! Especially u, aktrina!!! A fcking princess story?!?! Get real!!!

I looked around at everythin. I had collected all 3 stars but now I did nut no wat 2 do. I began 2 walk down da dark and crepy hallway, unsure of wat was ahead of me. Suddenly I gasped. There was 2 different paths ahead of me, and I did not no which 1 I shud take.

I looked at da left path and I saw the handsome, rugged face of logan. Den I looked at da right path and saw the adorable, wonderful face of piz. I gasped becuz this obstacle was a metaphor of my romantic slump.

Suddenly a shocking figure came stumblin out of da left path. It was…..weevil!

"weevil, wtf r u doin here?!?!" I buttoned.

He franked. "I hjve escapped from da terrible cage dat president fag locked me and all the others up in. they are being whipped and it is so terrible. We have 2 erscue them!!"

"We cunt," I replied. "I have 2 go battle president fag."

Weevil jumped. "but veronica, don't u want ur friends 2 help u out w/ the battle?"

"idk…," I rerreplied. "well…I guess we have 2. I mean my friends ewre always herr 4 me. Without katrina I wud diet….i have 2 rescue her from president mitchell."

Quickly me and weevil runned down da left path. There were ugly hideous pictures drawn around da walls of president fag eating people.it was so disgusting. Suddenly sum1 jumped out at me and weevil. It was…….selma hearst-rose!!!

"ahh!" she exclaimed. "u 2 look so delicus!! Especially u weevil, I cant wait till I put sum ketchup on ur bald head!!"

W eevil took out a knife and was going 2 stick it inside of her but I shooted "NO!" weevil was confused. "y nut?!?"

"we cant kill her becuz deep isnide, she is a good fartted person," I exclaimed. "she did not choose 2 be a evil tentacle monster. President fag bit her."

Selma hearst-rose began 2 howl. Then she began 2 burst into flames and she died, off 2 heaven w/ my dad. Me and weevil cuntinued down da path and suddenly we arrived at da giant cage that was captivating logan, piz, max, parka, wallice, jackie and clarence weedman.

Everyone exclaimed with happyness at the site of me. Thankfully president fag or one of his minions werent around. And da key was hanging on the wall!! I went 2 get it and I opened the cage and everyone jumped out and begunned 2 hug me.

Logan was hugging me. Piz angrily pushed him out of da way. They began 2 fight.

"sotp it!!!" I cried. "plz stop it!! Cant we just be happy that we've alle scapped???"

"yea yea watever," dey bnoth said.

We all started 2 walk toward president fag's bedroom where we knew we wud have da final battle w/ him. We wree so nervous & so sexcited at da same time. As we walked logan came up 2 me.

"u…u luv me da most rite?" he asked.

"logan idk wat 2 tell u," I replied. "both u and piz have shown me extreme happyness." I sighed. "if only plygamy was legal."

Logan snarled. "even if it wuz I wud not marry piz. Well…babe…just no dat I luv u more than wife itself." He kissed me and I was touched, den he walked away.

Piz walked over 2 me. "veronica, wuz he botherin u?"

"no no piz," I said. "I luv him…but I luv u 2."

Piz reached into his pocket and took sumthin out. "veronica…dis is a present 4 u." it was a mary-kate & ashley cell phone. "my number is in da address book, so wenever u need me, u just gimme a call."

"thx u so much, Piz," I said. "but……..i still do not no hoo I am going 2 choos.e"

All depressed we cuntinued walking. Weevil and parka were making out (dey r a cuple now) and clarence weedman and wallice were playing footsie. I walked up 2 clarence weedman. 

"so, clarence???" I asked. "how is dumbledore doin??"

Clarence weedman gasped. Wallice was confuzed. "clarence, wat is she talkin about???"

"nuthin…," said clarence. "it is just a inside joke dat we have." He looked at me and there was so much angst in his eyes.

Suddenly jackie said "we're here!!" we were at da door dat said………..PRESIDENT FAGS BEDROOM.

a/n: ok da next chptr will be da final battle between veronica and president fag (a/n: but don't worry it wont be da last chpr!!!) and also a major charcter will die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	21. Chapter 21

a/n: so omg da most craziest thing ever happened at da fair!!! Itz a long story, so if u wanna no all of it, read mah lj. But basically, I didn't win da writing competish, but dats ok becuz me and katrina r friends again!!! And finally katrina noes dat mitchell and cristina are both fcking whores!!! U go grl!! Kk leaveme lots of revoos.

We all walked inside. We were so scared. We all gasped as we saw dat president fag was sitting at his dresser, putting on make-up. He gasped when he saw us and all his tentakles sprung. "HOW DID YOU ALL ESCAP???"

"don't u no nuthin, president fag?!?!" asked mac. "we have da poower of luv, and dat is stroonger than anythin!" 

"yea!" said weevil. "so y don't u just surrender so we don't have 2 beat u up?!?!"

I cud tell that president fag was sad for a sexond becuz he did 1nce have da power of love. He probaby didn't even no that his old bf voldemort was dead.

"well!!!" shouted p resident fag. "I am so going 2 kill all of u!!!"

Suddenly president fag's bedroom turned into a fighting arena. Aaron echgo, mayor goody, mercer, moe and tim foil all appeared. They were all lookingt veruy angrty.

Everyone took a opponent and they all begsan 2 fight. It was so fcking terrifying. President fag began 2 sgttrangle mee with his tentacles. I was going 2 die and my whole wife flashed be4 my eyes……………

I saw myself when miss dent died. It wuz so sad and I saw mysrelf dedicating my life 2 finding da killer. I still hadnt uncoverred miss dent's killer, and it would be so sad that I would die with that unsolved mystery.

I saw myself when mah dad died. It wuz so sad. And then I saw myself birthing my son, chloe. He wuz so beautyiful. And then I saw logan and piz. They 2 were both so beautiful.

But suddenly…I cud breathe! I gasped becuz logan and pis were both beatin up president fag and he was loosseing up on me.

"what da fuck is rong w/ u u stupid tentacle bitch!??!?" logan exclammed.

"yea u r a fag 2 the extreme!!" shooted piz. "how dare u hurt a beautiful thinbg like veronica??"

President fag was in so much pain that he begunned 2 fall to the ground. Logan and piz took out guns and they was going 2 shoot him, but I shouted "NO!!!" 

"what why" said them.

"president fag isnt really evil on da inside!!" I shouted. "he didn't choose 2 be a tentacle monster. His boyfriend voldemort cursed him with it. So…plz…plz don't kill him."

They put down their guns. "ya ok anythin 4 u."

I brethed a sigh of relieef. I walked over 2 president fag and neeled down 2 him. I think he was going 2 die.

"veronica…how did u no??" asked president fag. "how did u no about my old love."

"I talked 2 him," I repplied. "voldemort never stopped luving u. I think he took out all his anger toward u on all da people he killed. But not 1nce did he stop luving u."

President fag sighed. "yea every day I regretted cheatin on him…even tho my son toy vandergraph wuz so beautiful."

"well I have gud news," I aids. "I visited heaven, and in heaven, my dad and alyssa fennel r dating. That means u and voldemort can happily be 2gether, in perfect harmony."

He smiled. "thanx u…long live vexonica mars." then he closed his eyes and he died.

I thought that all the terror was over until s uddenly…

MAYOR GOODY TOOK OUT A HUGE BOX OF EXPLOSIVES AND HE SET THEM OFF! Da hole room blew up and everythin went blasck….

When I woke up I was in da hospital. Parka was sitting by my side. She wuz so happy when she saw dat I woke up. "omg, ur alive, thanx god!!"

"parka, wats goin on??" I asked.

"mayor goody's explosives injured everyone in da room," she answred. "only 1 person died."

I gasped. "was it 1 of da villains???"

"no," she cried.

I screamed. Quickly I ran into da waiting room 2 see hoo was dere. Jackie, logan, wallice, weevil, max and clarence weedman were all there. But DERE WAS NO PIZ.

"OMFG," I shouted. "IS HE…IS HE DED???"

Sadly every1 nodded their heads. I cud tell even logan was upset. I was so depressed. I began 2 run and run and run.

"CUM BACK!!" everyone shouted, but I just didn't care.

I jumped into the fireplace and I threw da floo powder in the air and I shouted "president fag's castle!!" suddenly I was there. All depressed I ran 2 the giant painting with the clouds and I beegan 2 jump into it but I cuddnt. It wuz only wall.

"wtf???"

Suddenly an old man with a mop came walking over 2 me. He waz da janitor. "can I help u, miss?"

"yea!" I franked. "y the fuck cant I get 2 the other side?"

"after president fag died all da magickal paintings were sealed."

I spinellied. "so…so ill never see piz again?"

He sighed. "sry but no."

I still hadnt given up hope. Quickly I took out my mary-kate and ashley cell phone dat piz had given me and I dialed piz's number. It rang and it rang and it rang…den da lady said "sry but dis numba is out of service."

Finally I rellized dat it wuz true. Piz wuz relli and truly gone. I began 2 lay down and cry. The old man comforted me. He seemed sumwat familiar but I just cud not lay my finger on it.

All depressed I returend baxck 2 da hospital where every1 was waitin 4 me. There were a bunch of reports there. I had becum a huge celebrity.

"u saved da world, veronica murs," said a reporter. "wat r u going 2 do now?"

I smiled. "go 2 fucking cold stone creamery!!!!!!!!!!!"

a/n: DON'T WORRY DA FIC IS NOT OVER. DERE IS STILL SO MUCH MORE STORY 2 TELL. Anyway every1 add me on lj and leave me revoos!! kk!


	22. Chapter 22

a/n: STOP FLAMMING U DON'T KNOW WAT UR DOIN. Katrina do u want 2 see da simpmuns moovie?? Or wat about I no hoo kileld me??

Itz been 19 yrs since I finally destroied president fag (lol like at da end of hurry pooter!!) and so much haz changed. Aaron echo, mayor goody, mercer, moe, and tim foil all went 2 prison. Weevil married parka, jackie married max, and wallice and clarence weedman wanted 2 gwet married biut clarence was called to fight in world war IV so their not married yet.

Also those stupid bitches madison sinchair and mitchell got married after I divorced him. Chloe, heather, tina and lily cain jr. are all in college.

I became da most famous person in the world. I waz called 2 star in all the movies and tv shows. So far ive won 90 oscars, 100 emmys, 12 goolden globes, and even a grammy. I lived in a huge fancy mansion and I named my butler backup, after my late dog. I began 2 drift apart from all my friensd, even logan. Infact I havent talked 2 any of them 4 19 years.

Anyway so I was currently filming "veronica in space" which is a tv series based on my adventerous life.

"omg!" I shouted, reading da script. "I see president fag up ahead. Is the most evil person in the world. Cum on, lets beat him up and kick him in the balls and everythin! I wish logan was here"

Angrily I put down da script and yelled at da director. "dis is nuthin like how da real president fag wuz!!"

Director asshole put down his cigar and cackled. "I don't really give a fuck oK!! 2day's teens don't want 2 watch a show about a friendly tentacle mosnter. Dey want 2 see u spend ur entire life having angst over logan."

I moaned. "but logan and I havent even talked in 19 yrs."

"well maybe u shud," he replied. "den maybe ur merchandise sales wud go up."

All sadly I walked over 2 my computer were I checked my email. I gasped…I got a email from wallice!!! All excited I clicked it.

It said:

Hgwello 2 all my frenz and family!! I have wonderful noos. Clarence weedman has finally returned home from his 19 bloody years in world war Iv. Anyway we r going 2 get married 2nite. Bring gifts. Bi.

"OMG!" I shouted. I was so happy. I wud finally meet up with all my old buds again. It wud be just like old times. I wud trade in all my $$$ and fame if I cud have our friendship again.

All happily I skipped 2 k mart and bought a dick in a box. "it's a dick in a box!!"! I merrily sang 2 myself. I wuz so happy and I didn't even drink a bottle of coke like in all those coke commercials wen everyone is happy frum drinkin coke.

I skipped 2 wallice and clarence weedmans house where the wedding wuz reddi 4 begin. Btw it takes a gay person a few minutes 2 set up 4 a wedding. I walked into da house and I saw all my old frenz!!

I screamed and I hugged every1.

"vexonica, how have u been???" parka asked.

"so gud!!" I replied.

Jackie franked. "yea me and mac enjoy watching ur cooking realty show 'veronica's kitchen' every nite before we go 2 bed."

Everyone started 2 ask me about my glove life and I was depressed becuaz I had none. "umm…im ok. How r ur guiz children?"

"our little peevil is entering neptune high now," said pareka and weevil. "he is so handsome."

"omg!" shouted max and jackie. "our little mackie is entering neptune high 2. maybe they can have sex 2gether."

Wallice and clarence weedman butt in. "ya our wallman is going into neptune high 2!!" every1 hi fived each udder. I wuz so sad becuz I didn't have any children. Logan looked depressed 2. we looked into each udders eyes.

Logan griswalded. "veronica…ur looking well."

"yea, yea u 2 logan," I replied. "have u gained 20 pounds?"

"you noticed" logan said.

"yea."

Everyone handed wallice and clarence weedman their gifts.

"we got u a dick in a box!!" said parka and jackie.

"us too!!!" shouted weevil and parka.

"yea so did I," I said.

"same," siad logan.

We all hi-fived each udder. Finally da service wuz ready 2 begin. Their son wallman was da best man and I was wallice's bridesmaid. Anyway the rabbi wedded them and everyone ate the cake and we all talked and stuff.

I walked over 2 clarence. "sooo no sign of dumbledore here."

Clarence got very asngry. "look dis is da happiest day of my life. Y don't u not depress every1 ok? At least not 2day."

"but clarence!" I exclammed. "dumbledore is waitin 4 u!! he luvs u. he still thinks ur cummin back 4 him."

He shook his hips. "look, im a world war 4 veteran, I don't need dis shit." He walked off.

I walked over 2 wallman. He was looking all dark and mysterious and he wuz wearing a shirt that said 666. "hay," I said 2 him. "I hear dat ur enterin neptune high dis fall."

"yup."

"lol I had so many memories dere," I said. "lyke dere was dis 1 time wen I walked into art class 2 find my teacher miss dent all murdered on the floor and everythin."

Wallman put an evil grin on his face. "yea…dis year is going 2 be a very interesting year for sure." He started 2 laugh evily.

I got scared so I walked away. Every1 was slow dancing 2 the song getcha head in the game from high school moosickal. I saw logan, standing alone. I walked over 2 him. "u don't…u don't wana…do u?"

"yea I do," he said.

Den we started 2 slow dance. Suddenly all my angst was swept away by the bootfiul face of logan.

He kissed me.

"I hope dis isnt a dream" I whispered, softly.

He pinched me. "don't worry…its not."

4 one sexcond I was so happy and I was in a moment of bliss. All da terrifying shit dat was going 2 be happening 2 me soon didn't even matter………..


	23. Chapter 23

a/n: don't flam dis fic!!! Don't!!!

I woke up in my beautiful manshun. It wuz a beautiful day ootside. I began 2 sing with the birds outside the window. All happily I turned on da tv 2 see da new.s news anchorwoman diane was at……neptunre high!!!!!

"hello," she said. "here I am at neptune high where a terrible thing has happened. On da first day of skool, all da students walked in 2 find 1 of their classmates, tammy featherbutt, on the floor, murdered. No 1 nos hoo did it, but it bares an odd resemblince 2 da murder of miss dent 20 yrs ago.isnt there any1 hoo can solve dis mystery????"

I gasped. I was so it be dat miss dents killer had returned 4 moore??? Dere wuz only 1 way 2 find out. I had 2 return 2 neptune high and investigate 4 myself.

Anyway I had my butler backup drive me 2 neptune high. It was so terrible. All da terrible memoreies came rushin back 2 me. I flashed back 2 da time when miss dant died.

"_miss dent?!??!" I shooted. "y r u sleepin??"_

_I bent down 2 her. She w as not breathin. "stop miss dent!!! Stop!!! Its not funny!"_

_Den I realized dat she waz dead. I begunned 2 cry. I begsasn 2 sing 2 her her favorite song, colors of da wind from pokahontas. Get it becuz shes a art teacher???_

Tears came rushin 2 my eyes agained. Backup the butler asked if I was ok and I said yea. Anyway he dropped me off at neptune high and I investigated. Dere was a dead body and all the police was investigating it. I saw deputiy slacks. He got rid of his mustach.

In da corner I saw wallice and clarence's son, wallman. With him was parka and weevils' son, peevil, and max and jackie's daughter mackie. Dey were all looking very misterus.

XXX WALLMAN'S POV XXX

"I cant believe dat tammy featherbutt is dead," I exclammed.

"yea I no," said peevil.

Mackie burst into tears. "u guys….wat if sum1 figures out wat…wat we did???"

Me and peevil comforted her. "don't worry," I said. "dere is no 1 smart enouggh 2 figure out wat we did."

Veronica mars walked up 2 us. "hay u guiz. Can u believe dis murder???"

We all shifted up, pretending 2 not have a terrible secret. "yea we know its crazii."

Mackie was trying 2 hard not 2 cry. "so…um…veronica, if u want, deres a memorial service 4 tammy at da skool 2nite. Maybe u can do sum investigating then."

Me and peevil were mad at mackie 4 revealing so much information. "thx," said veronica. She walked off.

"Omgw tf!!!" we shouted at mackie. "now she might find out wat we did!!!"

"im sry," she apoloooglized.

I was going 2 beat her up but peevil stopped me. "no. don't. she made a mistake."

I wz very angry.

XXX VERONICA'S POV XXX

It wuz nitetime. I put on sexy clothes so I looked hot at the memorial service 4 tammy featherbutt. I showed up at neptune high and everyone was holding candles. Da song goodbi by da spice girls wuz playing. It was so sad.

A fat chubby overweight girl walked up 2 me. "hi…miss mars. I just wanted 2 say dat I luv ur work."

"thx," I replied, kinda lost in thot.

"well we both had da same locker," she repplied. "and id really like it if u cud sign it."

I moaned. "yea I guess I cud."

We walked into da high school and it was so dark and scary. Suddenly I had a flashback of miss dent!!! I screamed.

"miss mars, wats wrong???" asked da fat girl, hoos name was franchesca btw.

"uh…," I repplied. Suddenly my cell phone ringed. "excooz me."

I walked into da bafroom and answered da fone. Suddenly a terriblbe voice spoke 2 me on the other line. "listen, veronica mars!! I am da very evil person dat killed tammy featherbutt!!! I may have aslso killed miss dent!! Don't u stick ur nose into this mystery or u'll end up like tammy and miss dent!! Ha ah ha!" he/she hung up.

All scared I walked out of da bafroom, looking scared. I walked back outside, ignoring frenchesca's request 2 sign her locker.

I gasped at wat I saw………….wallman was putting away his cell fone!!!!!


	24. Chapter 24

a/n: lol u guiz r a lot of fun 2 talk 2 on aim!!!! Dnt wrry katrina I still lyke u da most tho. And I hope everythin works out between u and those stupid bitches dat keep prank calling u!!!1

it wuz time 4 me, varonica murs, 2 becum da undacova bortha. I wuz going 2 sneak into wallice and clarence weedmans house and go into wallman's bedroom and look 4 clus!!! So anyway I jumped on my hovaboard (dere r hovaboards in da future) annd I flew 2 the weedman estate.

When I got there I saw the weedman family leavin 2 go groocey shoppim. Quickly I entered wallmans bedroom and gasped. The whole room wuz painted black. There was satanic things all around. Dere was words written on da wall dat said 'KILL KILL EVERYBODY KILL.'

It was so terrifying and if I were any1 else I wudve cried but I am vexonica matrs!!! I opened the dresser, looking 4 clues. I found some comdonsd and I screamed. Then I looked umder the bed and I found a gun, but I dismissed that becuz tammy featherbutt and miss dent had been killed w/ a nife. And besides, wallman was probbly holding the gun 4 wallice (wallice has a histry w/ guns remember??).

Sadly I had nut found any rl evidence that wallman was da killr. I was going 2 give up when suddenly…

SOMETHING GRAY AND WHITE AND EVIL POPPED OUT AT ME!!!!!! IT SCREAMED AND EVERYTHING. IT WAS SHOOTIN "HOO R U?!?!"

Dis gray monster was the most terrifying thing I had ever seen and ive seen tentacle monsters!!!1 "umm, my name is………………………………katrina." 

The gray monstre started 2 howl. "good!! Becuz ive been ordered to kill any1 with the name veronica mars!!!"

"well it's a gud thing im not her," I repplied. "so, uh, wtf r u?" 

"my name is Mush!!!" it shouted. "I am a gray monster and ive been conjured up from hell!!!"

I wuz so scared. "so y arent u in hell??"

mush cackled. "wallman is the leader of a cult and the cult members do terrible things lyke conjure evil spirits from the grave! Ha ha ha ah!!!!"

I omged. "hoo else is in da cult???"

Mush said "peevil, mackie, and tammy featherbutt until she was murdered!!! It wuz I who killed her becuz she wanted 2 leave the cult, and once u join da cult, u don't get 2 escap it!!"

I omged. "so did u kill miss dent 2???"

"hoo?"

I gasped. So it seemed that the murders of miss dant and tammy featherbutt werent connected. "so, wait, it wasn't u hoo misteriusly called me last nite?"

"no," he repplied. "I was watching ugly betty last nite."

"o ok," I said.

Suddenly wallman came into da room!!! He got very angry when he realized that I was there and talking 2 mush. "mush, I told u 2 kill veronica mars if she came into my room!!!"

"but her name is katrina!!!"

"no its not!! Kill her!!"

mush chased me and I ran and suddenly I took out my wand from the time I visited hoggarts. I shouted "expecto patronus!!" and suddenly mush vanished. All angrily I sat up and said 2 wallman, "so, ur in a cult?? Dats just fucking great u moron, y cant u just ddo drugs lyke normal teens?"

(A/N: DON'T DO DRUGS)

wallman caclkled. "oh shut up!! I hate my classmates. I h8 them so much. They make fun of me becuz my parents r both dudes. So instead of precipitating in activities lyke football or cheerleadin or da newspaper team lyke those fags, ive found a hobby of my own…culting!! Me and my cult buddies r going 2 use our cult powers 2 take over da world!!"

I was soa ngry and yet so happy at da same time. My life had becum a depressant ever since I defeaterd president fag and now I had a new adventure 2 look forward 2. "so, wallman, wuz it u hoo called me last nite??"

"no."

I was so angry. If it wasn't wallman or mush hoo had called me, then hoo?? "well anyway wallman I wont let u get away w/ dis!"

SUDDENLY WALLICE CAME IN. "wtf is going on herr?" 

"I…i…i…wanted 2 havbe sex w/ ur son?" I asked, unsuurely.

Wallice started 2 hit me with a broom. "wallice, u motherfucker!" I shouted. "don't hit me with a broom!! I saved ur black ass from president fag more times than u can count!!!"

Wallice took out the gun from under wallmans bed and was going 2 shoot me when I said "WAIT!!"

"wat?"

"how can u kill me if I no secrets about ur husband?" I asked.

Wallice was confuzzled. "wat r u talkin about??"

"2nite, when clarence weedman gets home from work, ask him how dumbledore is doin," I said. "and don't u take no response 4 a answer."

Wallice wuz so confused that I quickly had time 2 escape. I wuz, however, alittle sad that I had just made enemies with my bff.


	25. Chapter 25

a/n: don't flam it!!! Don't even think abut it!!!

XXX WALLICE'S POV XXX

I wuz so upset. Wat was it that vweronica waz trying 2 tell me about dumbledore?? There was only 1 way 2 find out. I had 2 ask clarence myself when he came back from work. Clarence is an exec producer of da tv show kyle xx. I am a housewife.

Anyway clarence came home and we both sat down. "ohh, wat a stressful day I had. Its so nice 2 cum back home and find my beautiful husband." He kissed me on da cheek.

"yea…thx, honey," I said, nervusly. I took oiut a fresh batch of cookies and he took 1. "so, um, clarence, da strangest thing happened 2day."

"o yea?"

"well…veronica mars stopped bi." Suddenly clarence looked suspicious. I said "she brought up sum1 named dumbledore…hoo is that?"

Clarence gasped. "oh, uh, nuthin honey, u just keep makin more baked goods."

I was angry. "clarence, plz, we need 2 have a open relationship or we'll never get by!! NOW TELL ME, HOO IS DUMBLEDORE???"

Clarence looked all depressed. "fine. Fine I will tell u. dumbledore is…………………..my old boyfriend."

I screamed and I threw the cookies in da air. They burned me but I just didn't care becuz I was so shocked. "omg!"

He cuntinued, "deres more. I used 2 live at hoggarts with dumbledore, but I got sick of him so I left 1 day, promising 2 return. He's still out there, thinking im cuming back 4 him."

I began 2 cry. "how cud u never tell me??? U r a terrible husband!!" 

Suddenly wallman walked into da room. "stop fightin!!! Stop it now!!"

All angrily I took out a butcher knife and put it toward clarence. I didn't want wallman 2 see it but I just didn't care. I wuz so mad at clarence.

Wallman started 2 scream and cry. "plz!! Just stop!!!"

I didn't listen. I wuz going 2 kill clarence becuz I was so mad him. Suddenly wallman began 2 chant some magick words. It was in a langage I didn't understand. Suddenly a horrible gray and white blob appeared. It began 2 scream.

"MY MASTER WALLMAN WEEDMAN IS FEELING A POWERFUL HATE TOWARD U 2!!! NOW I SHALL KILL DA BOTH OF U!!"

The horrible blob stole my butcher knife and chopped at me and weedman. We both fell 2 the ground, in seerin gpain.

XXX VERONICA'S POV XXX

I jumped out of the weedman house and I fainted. Wen I woke up it was lyke a hour later and there wewre a ton of police cars. I was curious as 2 see wat was going on.

All curious I ran into da house and I gasped……..wallice and clarence were being taken aeway in body bags!!!

I was so scared. I ran 2 a policeman and said "wat is going on??"

"well it seems dat mr and mr weedman suffered strokes," he responded. "they r not dead yet and they r being taken 2 da hospital. No magick was involved watsoever." He walked off 2 chew donuts.

Suddenly I noticed dat wallman was standing in da corner, looking all mysterius. I walked over 2 him. "dis really sux wat happened 2 ur parents."

"ya."

"were…were u involved???"

He gasped. "don't be rackuslus. They suffered strakes."

I pulled him. "listen, u fucking little bastard punk. Wallice and clarence weedman r 2 of my fucking closest friends. If I find out that u r responsible 4 dere injuries, I will fucking kill you. U hear me, bitch?"

He huffed up. "yea watever."

All angrily I walked out of the weedman household and I took out my mary-kate & ashley cell phone and I gasped. I receeved a text message and it sed "VEXONICA MARS PLEASE MEET ME IN THE DARK MYSTERIUS ALLEY BEHIND NEPTUN HIHE. HA HA HA HA."

I gasped.


	26. Chapter 26

a/n: OK MY FIC IS GUD. Y DON'T ANY OF U C DAT??/ if u flam den ur a slut!!!1

all scared I walked down da misterius alley behind neptune hi. I wuz so scared. Suddenly ii gasped at wat I saw. It was……wallman, peevil, and mackie, and they had tied up principal van helsing!!!

"VERONICA MARS!!" he shouted. "please rescue me from deze cultists!!"

Wallman slapped him. "glad u cud join us, miss mars. plz take a seat." I sat. I said, "y have u called me here??"

Mackie seductively waved her butt in da air. "we want u 2 join us!!"

"yea!!" repplied peevil. "u r a very smart grl and we cud use u in our cult. So, wat do u say??? Join us!! U can have watever u want!!"

I punched peevil. "no way, bastard!! Im not joining into ur mind games!"

Wallman said, "but veronica!! If u join us, we can do so many wonderful things. 2gether we can bring back piz."

I gasped. Every single day I thot of piz and how much I missed him. If he cud cum back, I wud be so happy. "don't do it!!!1" shouted principal van helsing. Wallma n slapped him again.

Even tho principal van helsing was a fucking fag who gave me detention 2 many times, I knew he was rite. I cud not join da cult. I was 2 good and pure 4 dat. "no! I will not join da cult ok. Now let principal van helsing go and I wont beat u stupid kids up."

Suddenly wallman, peevil and mackie grew fangs and claws. "tee hee hee!! We're going 2 do 2 u wwat we did 2 tammy featherbutt who also took charge against the cult!!" also suddenly, mush, the gray blob, appeared and he wuz carrying a gun. H e begunned 2 shoot it at me.

All quickly and sexily I released principal van helsing from his ropes and we ran and ran and ran. We heard them chasing us and it wuz scary. Suddenly I saw a garbage can. "lets hide in her!!" we jumped into it.

"im so scared," said principal van helsing.

"I no," I replied. "me 2. not as much as u tho. Well anyway these cultists r eviler than they thot. Wallman, da leader of da cult, nearly killed his parents."

"I never did lyke wallman."

We fell asleep, so exhasted from running. When we woke up we heard voices. It was….the cultist kids!!

"well dey got away from us," said peevil.

"dats ok," replied wallman. "cuz we kidnapped principal van helsing's son nutters. And also we took veronica's 4 children!!"

I sceramed, but not loudly enuff 4 them 2 hear us.

"were r they being kept??" asked mackkie.

"at disney world in flarida," replied wallman. "we have trapped them on the it's a mall world ride. They r being dressed up as canadians so people will think their dolls instead of real people. Ha ha, we r so evil!!!"

The three of them cackled so evilly and it wuz so terrible. They walked away and I was so sad.

"We have 2 rescue them!!!" I exclammed.

"no," principal van helsing replied. "lets just commat suicide. Dey will take over da world fo sho, deres nothing we can do about it."

I slapped him. "shut da fuck up. Im going 2 go build up an army. R u cumming?"

"no," he repplied. "im sry. I cant. Dis adventure is just 2 big 4 me."

What a fucking pussy I thought. So I jumped out of da garbage can and walked over 2 jackie and max's house and I knocked on da door. They answered.

"vexonica, wat r u doing herr at dis hoor???" aksed jackie.

"well," I repplied. "wallice and clarence r both in da hospital. Cultists were involved however. And by cultists I mean ur daughter, mackie."

Jackie and mac were confuzed. "wat do u mean?? Our little mackie is a honor roll student. She wud never join a cult."

"ya well think again," I franked. "she is a cultist, and so r peevil and wallman. They r using their evil cult powers 2 take over da world. Anyway, the cult kids have kidnapped my children and taken them to disney world. We have 2 go rescue them and defeat the cultists. R u in???"

Mac and jackie didn't say anything. Suddenly mackie walked into da room. "hey moms. I cuddnt help but overhearing what miss mars said. And well im sry but she is a liar."

"WAT????" I said.

"ya," she repplied. "ur a cumpusive liar. Is it not tru that u constantly lied 2 ur peers and da teachers in high skewl?"

"well yea….," I mumbled. "but dats becuz I was trying 2 solve mysteries!!"

Jackie and mac spit at me. "stop trying 2 lie 2 us, veronica. Were adults now. We cant just go around playing nancy drew."

"but…but…," I said. "the cultists…"

"get real!!!" screamed mac. "dere r none, veronica. U r a nutjob. Now leave our house and if u try 2 touch our perfect daughter ever again well fucking kill u."

All sadly I walked out of da house. Then I went 2 weevil and parka's house where I tried 2 tell them the same thing but they didn't listen either. They kicked me out of dere house and I heard them laughing at my pain.

"im all alone," I said 2 myself. "no 1 lykes me anymore."

Suddenly sum1 popped out from the shadows. I figured it was probably a rappist or yet another person hoo wanted 2 make my life miserable, but it wasn't. it was………

LOGAN ECHO!!!1


	27. Chapter 27

a/n: omfg da simpfuns moovie wuz so funni!!1 if u flam den u had sex wi th 20 different ppl hoo all had sats!!11

I gasped. "logan, wat r u doin her???"

"I beleef u," he repplied. "about da evil cultists. I think their evil."

I shook my hips. "how do u no im not making it up????/"

He franked. "becuz I trust u." s uddenly I began 2 be so happy becuz logan loved me so much and it wuz so fucking beautiful. We madd out.

"well cum on now," said loogan. "we need 2 get 2 florida 2 rescue ur kids. Hey, did u ever find out hoo da father or mother of chloe's baby is????/"

"no," I repplied sadly. "I kept meaning 2 do it but I never got around 2 it."

Suddenly elfabba, da witch from da braunway moosical wicked came flying 2 us on her broom. "jump on!!" she screeched. "I will take u 2 florida." So we jumped on and we began 2 go 2 disney world.

"im so sad," I said 2 logan. "wat if that fucking bastard wallman kills my children???"

"den ill fucking kill dat guy."

We made out sum more. A stupid ugly bitch named cristina made fun of us and elfabba threw a lightning bolt at her and she died. We cheered.

"o hay u guiz," said elfabba. "if u want, I can do a magick spell that will reveal hoo da father or mother of ur baby is."

"dat'd be great!!" I screamed. Suddenly elfabba sed some magick words and we were about 2 find out, but suddenlyl……………..

SOMETHIN G HUGE JUMPED OUT AT US!!!!1 IT WUZ ROCKY A ND BULLWINKLE.

"hey u fucking bastards!!!!1" scramed rocky. "we've just been ordered by wallman 2 kill u guiz!!!"

Suddenly bullwinkle began 2 chop at us with a butcher knife. He sliced open elfabba and she died. Logan steered the broom while I chopped at bullwinkle's antlers and they fell of. Bullwinkle lost his balance and he fell 2 the ground and died.

"my husband!!!!1" rocky cried. "damn, ur going 2 pay 4 dis!!!" he threw a pokeball at us and it caught logan. I screamed becuz logan was trapped inside the pokeball. I began 2 steer the broom now.

I cried. "rocky, u bitch!!!" I kicked him and he fell 2 the ground but he didn't die. I heard him cackling in the background and he happily skipped away with logan in his clutches. I was so sad. I was alone again but at lest I had this broomstick 2 get 2 florida. I turned on da radio.

"welcum 2 Cult radio!!!" said da dj. "we play cult music 24/7!!1 so if u think cults r bad, den we'll fucking kill u!!!"

I changed da station but it wuz still cult radio!!! I screamed. Da evil cult had taken over da entire radio.

"2day on cult radio well be interviewing linsay lohan," said da dj. "she agreed 2 join da cult if we broke her out of prizon. And also lets have a moment of silence for principal van helsing. He wuz murdered by dat fucking ugly bitch vexonica mars. so if u c her, make sure 2 kill her."

I screamed becuz da radio station wuz making lies!! I wuz a lil sad that principal van helsing wuz dead but it wa sok becuz he was a pussy.

So anyway I used da magick wand dat elfabia had left me 2 zap a dvd player on da broom. I watched da goolden cumpass, da lizzie mcgir movie, holiday in da sun, and an american tale.

"I cant believe how much dis whole situation sux," I said. "frst tentacle monsters and now dis."

My broom landed at disney world and I jumped off. Every1 wuz so happy, unaware of the terrible things that the cult wud be doing 2 them. I bought my ticket and I went inside. Dere were so many fat people.

A fat woman named cristina smacked into me. "hey, u look lyke dat grl veronica mars dat cult radio said 2 look out 4!!"!

"no im not her," I replied. "my name is franchesca" I thot of franchesca and how she wuz probably being murdered at dis very moment. Wallman wuz like hitler and didn't like fat people. Of course, if hitler wuz black.

Anyway I went on 2 it's a mall world. I went by da canada part and I gasped. There, I saw heather, tina, lily cain jr., chloe, and nutters dressed up as canadians. I jumped off da boat. "omg u guiz!!"

"mom!" shouted tina. "thx 4 rescuin us!! The terrible cultists did bad things 2 us."

"ya dey raped us!!" cried heather.

I gaqsped. "well don't worry guiz, ill fcking kill dis cult. Oh, nutters, ur dad is dead."

"k," he replied.

The 6 of us began 2 leave when suddenly……………A BUNCH OF CULTISTS JUMPED OUT US!! it wuz madison sinchair and mitchell!!!1

"were gonna kill u!!!1" said mitchell.

I begaqn 2 reach 4 my wand but I gasped becuz………………I had dropped it!!!1

Mitchell and madison took out their guns and pointed it at us.


	28. Chapter 28

a/n: Y DON'T U FLAMMERS JUST SCRWE URSELFS OK???// katrina, did u no dat lost doesn't cum back till feb next year??? Dat fcking sux!!1

the 6 of us were so scared. I wuz so sure that we were going 2 die right there. Until suddenly……………..the 5 kids began 2 change!! I wuz so confused. "wtf r u guiz doing???" I asked.

Then I gasped. Heather, tina, lily cain jr., chloe and nutters were all becumming……………POWER RANGERS!!!1 heather was red, tina was blue, lily cain jr. was yellow, chloe was black, and nutters was pink. Quickly they began 2 beat up mitchell and madison.

I wuz so happy. "this is for beating mom!!1" my kids shouted. Soon enough they had beat up mitchell and madison so much dat dey were unconscience and everythin.

"wen did u guiz became power rangers??" I asked.

"theres a lot of things u don't know about that we did at college," ansewred chloe, misdchieviously.

I franked. "well cum on now lets get on the broomstick and go back 2 neptune." We all hopped on da broomstick and I began 2 fly it. The kids began 2 watch hurry pooter and da deadly hollows on da dvd player.

Suddenly I had a sad thought. I realized that I hardly knew my kids. They were off at college becumming power rangers and I had no idea. "um…u guiz…do u want 2 talk?"

"no," replied lily cain jr. "y?"

"well, um, have u guys lost ur virgannity yet???"

Every1 wuz silent. Finally heather spoke. "ya we all have. Infact I wuz voted biggest slut."

"WAT?"

"ya, and I have sex with my professor 2 pass classes," said tina.

"WAT??"

"I go through 10 packs of condumz a day!!!" said lily cain jr.

"WAT????"

Chloe detweillered. "I've been married thrice."

I began 2 cry becuz I wuz such a terrible mom. "y do ug uiz want 2 be sluts???"

"idk…" said tina. "it passes the time."

Nutters raised his hand. "if I may share an opinion? Well, veronica, according 2 my studies, it seems that children whose parents ignore them r more likely 2 find comfort anywhere they can get it, like with many sexual partners. If a parent is busy fighting tentacle monsters or evil cults, and leaves their children in the care of someone like rory gilmroe, their relationship will be sour. Ur children, veronica, r filthy whores becuz u r constantly fighting crime and have no time 2 give love, unless its toward a tentacle monster."

"no!!!" I exclaimed. "that's not it!! The evil cults have cursed my children with the whore curse!!1 it's the most terribloe curse there is, and it turns ppl into sluts!!"

Suddenly wallman, mackie and peevil came. Theyy were riding brtooomsticks. Peevil and mackie were making out. "WELL WELL WELL!" shouted wallman. "veronica, u r very smart, u figured out that we cursed ur children!!1 now im going 2 ask u 1 last time….WILL U JOIN DA CULT???" 

"no!!!" I hissed. I reached into mah pocket and began 2 throw mary-kate and ashley merchandise at wallman.

"AHH!!" he shouted. "mary-kate and ashley!! I hate them so much!!"

Suddenmly h e knocked his broom in 2 mine. I began 2 lose my balance….I wuz going 2 fall!! I still had 1 finger left on the broom.

"tee hee!" said wallman. "say ur prayers, vermonica stars!" he took out a butcher knife and chopped it on my finger. My finger came off and I began 2 fall, down down down.

"MOOOOM!!"! I heard my children shouting at me.

I knew they wud be ok becuz they were power rangers, but as for my safety, I did not no. I began 2 fall more and more until suddenmly I fell into the ocean and I wuz having a hard time breething……….


	29. Chapter 29

a/n: KATRINA I THINK I MGIGHT GET TICKETS 2 SEE DA PLANE WITE P'S!!!1 U CAN CUM OK. My mom said I mite have 2 invite my fucking cuzin tiffany tho!!!1 :[

I wuz in da ocean and I was drowning and everytthin. It wuz so terrible. But suddenly I rellized usmthing strange………..i cud breathe underwater!!! I wuz so confused becuz I didn't have my wand and I hadn't casted a breathe undartwater spell or anything.

Suddenly 2 woman came floating up 2 me. They were mermaids!! I gasped when I saw the face of 1 of them. It wuz…………..MY MOM !!!1

"MOM!?!?" I shouted. "I thot that u ran off w/ duncan's dad and then u died!" 

"ya that's what I told every1," she replied. "but in realty I wuz actually a mermaid. I wanted 2 go live underwater with my girlfriend, ariel." My mom made out with the other mermaid hoo I persumed wuz ariel.

I was so shocked becuz I did not no that my mom was a mermaid or a lesbian. "soo, the reason I can breath underwater is becuz im half mermaid."

"ya," she said.

I franked. "so did dad no that u were a mermaid?"

"no I never told anyone," she yielded. "well cum on now let me take u 2 my underwater village."

We all swam down to watertown, the town my mom lived in. there were a bunch of singing crabs and fish. "under the sea!!1 under the sea!!1 I hope that stupid bitch tiffany walks into a tree!!!1"

It wuz so beautiful. We all had a big feast of fish flakes and it wuz so good. I said, "u mermaids must be the happiest people in da world."

Ariel started 2 dance. "ya its pretty kool living under the c. but sumtimes we have a lot of problems."

"like wat?"

SUDDENLY A HUGE SUBMARINE JUMPED INTO THE OCEAN!!!1 EVERY1 SCREAMED.

"lyke that!!!" moaned ariel.

We all watched scaredly as we saw da people dat walked out of da submarine. It was…………………mr and mrs manning!!11 they were wearing snorkels. with them were nemo and spongebob.

"ATTENTION MERPEOPLE!!!" shouted mr. manning. "we have cum from land!! A terrible cult has taken over earth and me and my wife, being extreme christians, have decided 2 move 2 the ocean and convert all u merpeople into extreme christiannity."

"but im jewish!!!" shouted sebastian.

"nut anymore!!" cackled mrs. Manning. "tee hee hee!!1"

Nemo spoke. "yeah, and me and spongebob are their evil fish partners!!" spongebob and nemo began 2 make oiut and have sex. U cud tell that they were both virgins becuz they were doing it all wrong.

Mr and mrs manning took out whips and began 2 whip us. ariel cried. "y must u do this 2 us?!"

"shut up!!1" said mr. manning. "jesus faced worse!!"

"ya, but I don't think jesus wud want u 2 torturing us!!1" I snapped back.

All the fish in the sea became sad. Nemo walked up 2 me and began 2 rape me. Suddenly I was reminded off dean winchedder and aaron echo from the times that they tried 2 have their way with me. I remembered how pissed I wuz and I used that anger 2 beat up nemo.

Angrily nemo and spongeboob took out they're water-proof guns. "time 2 die, u fucking bitch!!1" they began 2 shoot anything that moved.

"veronica, since u r half human, u can still escape!!!1" cried mom. "go, now!!1"

"but im so worried about u!!1"

"don't be," she replied. "if I die, at least I will have seen ur beautiful face once more. But wait, be4 u go, take this!!1" she handed me a piece of string.

I wuz confused. "wat am I supposed 2 do with this???/"

Before she cud answer, mrs manning began 2 smack my mom with a bible. She cried and quixly I escapped. I swam out of da water and soon I found myself on land. I was so sad and upset and depressed.

I took out my marykate and ashkley cell fone. Since it was wet it didn't work anymore. I wuz so sad. I was trapped on a deserted island w/ no way of getting off.

Suddenly, in the distance, I saw sumthing…………….

IT WAS……………

A PLAIN THAT WUZ CRASHING ON2 DA ISLAND!!!!!!!!!!!1111111


	30. Chapter 30

a/n: kATRina my parents r going out on tursday 4 lyke da first time in 4ever!!1 wat do u want 2 do?? K every1 r/r!!!!!!!!1 O katrina I cant wait 4 da cooncert!11

all excitdedly I franked over 2 the plain as it crashed on da island. I gasped as it fell 2 the ground. Carefully I observed da people dat cummed out o f it. The people that came out were…….depooty leo, georgia, and john smith!!!!!!11

"wat happened??" cried georgia.

"our plain crashed," repplied john smith.

I ran over 2 them. "hay u guiz!! Im stranded on this desert island 2. duz any1 have a cell fone??"

They all reached into they're pockets and took out their cell fones but they did not get any reception. I saw that in leo's packet was a handgun. I figured that it wud be a gud gun 2 commit suicide with becuz my life fucking sucked. All sadly we began 2 cry, in fear that we'd be trapped on dis island 4ever.

Depooty leo exclaimed, "ok! lets go look into da forest and find sum food."

Georgia and john smith stayed behind becuz they were fags, but depooty leo and I cuntined off into da forest, looking 4 food.

"there r no bannanas or anythin!!" I cried. "leo, we r going 2 starf."

"no," he said. "we shall b ok." I looked in2 his eyes and he wuz so beautiful and everything. I was reminded of the beauty of piz and loogan. We leaned in close lyke we were going 2 kiss, but our kiss was interfupted by a terrible noise.

It was…………..a woman rustling around in the bushes!!

"HOO R U???" we screamed.

The woman jumped out. She had long blak hair. "hi. My name is pocahontas. I live on dis island."

"kool," I said. "do u have a cell fone??"

"a wat??"

Leo and I gasped. "u don't know wat a cell fone us?? well surely u have a tv rite??"

"no!!1"

Leo and I began 2 scream. "wat do u do 4 fun on this island??"

Pocahontas began 2 sing and dance. She showed us her talking tree, her river, and other fucking gay forest things. Despite how gay it was, it wuz kind of beautiful how she lived without war or tecknoloogy.

SUDDENLY s omething jumped out at us. pocahontas told us 2 get back. I cud tell that depooty leo wuz being pissed that pocahontas was being more masculine than him becuz he wanted 2 impress me. I think he hoped that he wuz getting lucky 2nite, but I did nto no if I wuz ready 2 finally start dating again.

ANYWay the thing that jumped out at us was………….A TENTACLE MONSTER!!1 it w uz so filthy and slimy and I was reminded of how gross tentacle monsters was, becuz I hadnt seen any in 19 yrs.

"my name is erin!!!" the tenticle monster shouted. "I do not no wat it is like 2 feel love!!1"

Leo cried. "I thot all the tentacle monsters were dead!!"

"ya most of them r," I answered. "all of them were neutrred and sum of them were sent 2 live in rainforests, lyke the 1 we r in rite now."

Trying 2 be all masculine and protective, leo took out his gun and pointed it at erin. But be4 he cud shoot, pocahontas jumped in front of it. "no!!1 don't shoot!!"

"Y?" he asked.

"if u walk the footsteps of a stranger, u'll learn things u never knew u never new," said pocahontas. She turned 2 erin. "erin, wats wrong??"

Erin sighed. "ive been on this island 4 as long as I can remember, and this whole time, ive never had any1 2 talk 2. I guess ive just 4gotten wat it's lyke 2 have a friend."

"well ok," I said. "I wud lyke 2 get 2 no u, if u just let us."

"that is da kindest thing any1 has said 2 me," repplied erin. Suddenly light began 2 shine from her. Then she bursted and dispapeared, off 2 da great beyond.

I whispered 2 myself softly, "only luv can kill a tentacle monster."

"or chuck norse," added leo.

I sighed. Erin the tenticle monster reminded me dat d ere wuz so much terror back in da united gates. There were so many deprassed ppl hoo needed my help. I cud not kill myself. It may be a hard job 2 fight monsters and cultists, but it had 2 be done. The world needs a hero, sum1 hoo makes shitty situations not so shitty, and dat person wuz me.

Dere wuz tears in my eyes. Leo wiped them.

"o hay u guiz," said pokahontas. "I have a hoverboard. Do u guiz want 2 use it 2 get off da island?? "

"ya dat'd be great!!1" me and leo said.

We jumped on da hoverboard and thanked pocahontas and quickly we escapped on da island.

"omfg," I said. "we 4got georgia and john smitt!!"

"u r so beauutiful when u'r hovering," leo said 2 me. We began 2 make out and suddenly I 4got all about anything that wasn't leo.


	31. Chapter 31

a/n: katrina hoo shud we invite 2 da party???/ idk every1 at our skool suks. I think we shud invite dat grl laura, she's kool, hoo else??

Leo and me made out so much on da hooverbaord, but it wuz time 2 get serius. Leo said, "were shud we go now??"

"well," I repplied. "my boyfr, I mean just friend, logan, is trapped in a pokeball and is in the clutches of that fucking whore rocky. We shud probably go rescue him."

"wait," said leo. "wat if u fall back in luv w/ him??"

I franked. "ya I probably wont. It duzznt matter tho becuz logan has helped me out so much. I cant just let him live in a pokeball 4 da rest of his life."

Anyway I opened up da gps system on da hoverboard and entered "ROCKY." It showed us were he was. he was at da mall of america in minnesoda. Quickly we flew our hoverboards 2 da amll of america. We parked da hooverboard and went inside.

"where do u think he is???" leo asked nervusly.

"lets try da movie theater," I answered, sexily.

We ranned 2 da movie theater and sure enuff, dere he was. we cud see da pokeball was in his pocket. Anyway leo and I hid in a corner as we watched rocky buy his ticket 4 da movie.

"1 ticket 4 cumming jane," said rocky. Da lady handed him a ticket and he walked inside da theater.

Quickly me and leo beganned 2 run 2 becumming jane, but we were stopped by someone. It was…………….mrs. weasle from hurry pooter!!11

"do u 2 have ur tickets???" she asked.

I gasped. "mrs. Weasle, wat r u doing here working at a muggle movie theater??"

She repplied, "after my son ron was killed by a bus I decided 2 give up magik and work at a movie theater." S he had a tear in her eye. "well anywayz u 2 need tickets 2 see becumming jane." 

Leo and I bought tickets and we walked inside becumming jane.

"dats really sad about mrs. Weasle," said leo.

"ya I no," I repplied. "I witnessed ron being killed by assidy and his magic skool bus. It wuz terrible."

Anywyay we beganned 2 look around da theater for rocky. We gasped wen we found him. He was masterating 2 da movie.

"OMFG U FUCKING SICKO!!!" I shouted. When rocky saw us he took out his gun and began 2 shoot it at us. we took out our guns 2 and shooted it at him 2.

Mrs. Weasle ran in2 da theater. "wats goin on herr????"

"dat fucking sicko rocky was masterating 2 da movie!!!1" shouted leo. "arrest him immediately."

Mrs. Weasle putt handcuffs around rocky, but he wuz squirming. He wuz a flying squarrel so he begunned 2 fly. Quickly we all took out our guns and shot him. He fell 2 the ground, dead.

"im gonna miss him," I moaned softly. "he wuz da best flying squirrel Ive ever known."

Anyway we took da pokeball out of his pocket and we opened it. Suddenly logan popped out of it!!1 he looked dirty. "wat happened???/"

"u were trapped in da pookeball by rocky!!1" I exclammed.

"well thx 4 lettin me out," he moaned. He turned 2 leo. "hoos this guy???"

Leo detweillered. "im her boyfriend."

Logan began 2 cry. I hugged him, but not a romantic hug becuz we were not like that anymore.

SUDDENLY………..a terrible blob appeared! It waz mush!!1 he wuz cackling evily. "guess wat, u fucking bitches!!1 I have sum wonderful news. 19 years ago, u had 2 deal with the evil of president fag. But now u have 2 deal with the evil of………..president wallman!!!" 

We all gasped.

He cuntinued. "ya, wallman has just becummed da president!!1 and hes isshuing a new law. Every1 has 2 do watever he says or else he'll kill them!!11 tee hee ehe!!"

Leo jumped. "we will never give in 2 da evils of da cult!! Never!!"

Mush began 2 throwm darts at us, but they all missed, so we werent hurt or anything. Angrily mush disappeared.

"wat r we going 2 do??" logan asked.

"I have a idea," I said. "sam winchedder and rory gilmroe have both becummed da governors of the state of washignton. Maybe if we go speak 2 them they will have sum ideas on wat 2 do about the cult tsaking over da govcernment."

We all hi-fived each other, and then we jumped into da fireplace and used da floo powder to take us 2 washington state.


	32. Chapter 32

a/n: DON'T FLAM DIS. IF U R GOING 2 FLAM, STOP. Katrina I cunt wait 4 our party lol!!!1

when me, loogan and leo flooed 2 sam and rory's office, we caught them making out and having sex on their desk. They gasped when they saw us. I giggled w/ excitement. "omg u 2 make da cutest cupple ever!!!"

all happily rory pointed her finger at us so we cud see her ring. "we're getting married in may!!!1"

rory and I hugged. Leo franked. "veronica, maybe u shud explain y we r here."

"o ya," I remembered. "ok well, as im shure u no, wallman weedman has just been elekted da new prezident of america. Dis is bad becuz he is evil and is going 2 use his evil cult powers 2 take over da world. Since u 2 are in the government, we figured u cud be of help."

Sam chimed. "um, veronica, I think ur just trying 2 get wallman impeached becuz he's black."

I baarkeed back, "dats not it!!1 I wish orphah cud be prezident, becuz she's not evil!!"

Sam and leo and logan began 2 fight. Rory cried. "stop it!! Plz, stop!!"

I took out a bucket of water and threw it on the boys. "STOP. I no that u all r in luv with me, but we don't have time 4 dat rite now. We have 2 think about wallman."

"look, veronica, we believe that U THINK he's evil," said rory.

"but he is!!1" I shouted.

Sam sighed. "veronica…ur rite. We no that he's evil but he's threatened us and every1 else in da government 2 make everyone think he's good. But secretly, we are forming a resistance group against wallman and da cult."

I gasped. "if u guys r building up a army, then I want 2 fight!!"

Rory checked da door 2 make shure dat no 1 wuz listening. "well ok. According 2 our investigation, wallman and his army are planning on invading his old high skool, neptune high. U three must go there and fight."

"we will," we all said proudly.

We said goodbi 2 rory and sam and thanked them and we jumped on our hovoerboards and begunned 2 fly 2 neptune high. Leo and I made out all the way there and it wuz clear that logan wuz really jelus.

Anyway soon we arrived at neptune high and we hopped off. There were a ton of limosines around da skool. Dere wuz a lot of secret service. Quickly me and the guys began 2 enter da skool, but a secret service guy stopped us. "no 1 is allowed in2 da skool."

"plz let us in!!" screamed logan.

I took out my pepper spray and sprayed it in da eye of da sexret service. H e screamed and his human form disintigrated, revealing that he was………an evil spirit like mush!!!1 angrily the spirit flew away and we walked in2 da skool.

We gasped at wat we saw!! All da students were sitting on da ground, crying and upset. Wallman, peevil and mackie were torturing every1. quickly logan and me pput on our mary-kate & ashley costumes (rememnber, da 1's dat jack and kate dawson was wearing??) and leo put on his srah mitchell gellzr costume.

Wallman excitedly walked over 2 us. "OMGFG MY 3 FAVRITE AKTRESSES!!!1 CAN I HAVE UR AUTOGRAFFS?"

"ya," leo said. "but frst, u must let all these children go!!"

Wallman barked. "hey wait a minute!! I don't think u guyz r really hoo u say u r!!" he puilled of our costumes and our true ditentities was revealed. He screamed. "VEXONICA MARS AND HER 2 BOYFRIENDS?!?!"

Quickly peevil and mackie and wallman took out their butcher nifes and were going 2 slash us when suddenly……………SUM1 JUMPED IN FRONT OF US!! IT WAS….FRANCHESCA!

"I will not let veronica mars die!!1" she screamed as peevil chopped through her skin and she died.

I screeched. "Wallman, u have no hart!! Have u even nvisited ur parents in da hospital??/"

"ya!" he spinellied. "once."

"omfg!!1" shouted a student. "gay's anatomy is on!!1" he turned on da tv in da hallway and we all stopped screeming at each other so we cud watch da show. But gay's anatomy wasn't on………instead, a brakeing news story was!11

An asian lady walked up 2 da skreen. "hello every1. I am reporting about sum terrible news. 4 ppl, mac, jackie, weevil, and parka were ordered by prezident wallman 2 take a trip 2 a deserted island 2 look for cluz on veronica mars's wereabouts becuz it wuz beleeved that she was dere. Anyway the 4 of them accidently crashed their hovercar into the three ppl currently living on da island, gorgia, john smith, & pocahontas."

We all gasped. Da lady cuntinued. "ya so mac, jackie, weevil, parka, gorgia, and john smith have all been taken 2 da hospital. Pocahontas refused 2 cum becuz she was born on da island and she wanted 2 die ther. Her talking rainforest animal frenz say that she was never da same after da death of her lesbian lover and last-surviving tentacle monster, erin. So anyway gorgia and john smith have died, but parka, weevil, mac, and jackie r all in comas, and like their also comatose frenz wallice and clarence, they r not expected 2 survive."

Peevil and mackie stopped making out. They looked relli relli said. They walked up 2 wallman and began 2 complain. "wallman, we don't want 2 play this game anymore!!1"

Wallman looked angry. "but we've cum so far!!1 we have 2 destroy da world!1"

Mackie and peevil were swelling with tears. Peevil said, "no, things have gone 2 far!!" peevil took out his gun and every1 began fighting over it when suddenly………da bullet went off!!!!


	33. Chapter 33

a/n: katrina can u bring da sooda??/ I only have die coke and dat fkin sux!!1 ill bring da chips!1 DON'T FLAM.

We all gasped at hoo da bullet hit. It was…….mackie!!1 Peevil began 2 cry and cry. He knelt by her side and screamed "NO HONEY NO DON'T GO." Everyone looked at him sadly, and quickly wallman escappeed.

"she has 2 go 2 da hospital"!!" leo shotuted.

Quickly we got her on a school bus and we drove her 2 da hospital. I got a text message but I didn't check it becuz I was 2 concerned for mackie's health. Anyway we arrived at da hospitral and quickly we all got her inside.

Logan was crying. I comforted him. "it's okay, baby."

He waddled. "y is our life so depressing, veronica?? Y cant we just be normal ppl, doing normal thi ngs?? Every day I have 2 wake up wondering hoo will die 2day."

"well," I repplied. "texnically no one's relli died yet. Wallice, clarence, mac, jackie, parka, weevil, and mackie r all in comas."

"ya," he franked. "but let's face it, their not cumming back."

We could hear peevil's screams from mackie's hospital room. We shuddered in fear. Leo came over 2 us. "I cant believe that bastard wallman ran away."

"ya I no," I said. "he nearly killed 1 of his best friendz and he dussnt even care."

Suddenly I remembered that I had gotten a text message (I fixed my mary-kate and ashley cell phone) so I opened it. It said "MEET ME IN DA HOSPITAL WOMEN'S BATHROOM…OR ELSE!!1"

All nervously I walked into da bafroom. There were pictures of mary-kate and ashley hung up all around the walls, but I was still relli nervice. Then suddenly someone jumped out at me. It was……………wallman!!!!!!!!!!!

"WALLMAN U SICKO!" I shouted. "WAT R U DOING IN DA GRLS' BAFROOM?!??!"

He franked. "be quiet! Ok listen………I can admit that sum of the things I did were, um, a little wrong."

"A LITTLE?!?!?!?!" I screeched. "u fucking bitch, u r responsible for the depression of MILLIONS OF PPL! U R DA FUCKING WORST PERSON IVE EVER MET, MITCHELL."

He sighed. "well ya…I think ive seen the error of my ways. So anyway im going to use all the billions of dollars I stole from the united states tresurey to go hide off in the dominic republic."

I slapped him. "u bitch, u need 2 take responsibility 4 wat u did!"

"I don't wanna!!" he moaned. He took out his hoverboard and beganned 2 fly. He said 2 me. "anyway…I just wanna warned you, that, well, ther is something way eviler than me that's still allive. This creature…it told me everything I needed 2 do 2 becum the evilest person in the world."

"wat is it???"

"if I tell u, it'll kill me!!"

I took out my gun and pointed it at wallman. "if u don't tell me, ill fucking kill u, bastard!" 

Sadly wallman used his tleakentic powers 2 steal the gun from me. I was afraid he was going 2 use it 2 kill me but instead……………….he blew out his brains!!!!! Wallman fell 2 the ground, dead. I walked back in2 da waiting room.

"hey, veronica, wat happened?" asked loogan.

"ya what happened," said leo.

I spinellied. "umm nothin……….." I began 2 think about wat wallman had said about the creature eviler than him. He did not give me any cluz as 2 wat it was, so how was I supposed 2 find it?!?!

"cum on u guiz let's go check up on peevil and mackie," I moaned.

Da 3 of us walked into mackie's room………and we gasped! They were sleeping in bed 2gether, holding each udder's hands, and they werent moving. I touched their hands and they were cold.

Ill be seeing u bi billie holliday wuz playing.


	34. Chapter 34

a/n: if u lyke dis stori den kewl!1 but if u don't, fuck off!!1 ok im thinkin of endin dis stori soon, so ok im relli sry, but it wont end 4 a while ok. Thx katrina 4 everythin!11

I began 2 cry becuz peevil and mackie's deaths were so sad. Leo and logan both tried 2 comfort me, but they began 2 fight and beat up each udder. I screeamrd, "stop it u guiz!!1 plz don't fite over me rite now!!1 im 2 sad!"

Leo franked. "veronica, u've eben acting mysterusly l8ly. Y???":

"well," I repplied. "I saw wallman in da girls batroom. He killed himself."

Suddenly logan and leo looked so happy becuz they thot that all da evil was over but then I said "but be4 he killed himself he told me dat dere wuz sum1 way eviler den him still alive!!1" they looked sad again.

"ok veronica," logan ranked. "I think its time u choose between me or leo."

I got a headcrache. "stfu ok. Ill make a decision l8r. now go away and leave me alone 4 a little bit." Logal and leo left.

I began 2 cry. Suddenly sum1 walked into da room. I wiped of all my teraz becuz I didn't want any1 2 see me criing. I gasped at hoo da person wuz. It was………mercer!!!1 "mercer, u fucking pedo!!1 wat r u doin here?? I thot u were in prison!1"

"ya I wqas," he said. "me and my lover moe tried 2 escap frum azkaban, but along the way, moe fell into da water and got eaten by a crokodile. Rite now he is here in da hospital and he just died. I am very sad."

"omg!!!!!!!" I screeched. "im so sry! I totally 4give u 4 raping me."

We hugged. He began 2 feel me up my back. We hopped on da bed and started 2 have sexual intercourse. Im not a slut, I just needed a brake from logan and leo. Anyway we were almost naked when mercer gasped.

"wat/" I asked.

He pointed 2 da piece of string in my pocket that my mom had given 2 me. He franked. "do u no wat that piece of string is???"

"no."

"well, it is a magick piece of string. It gives ppl da ppower to enter people's brains. It is very rare and its only in da posession of mermaids."

I gasped. "how do u no all this???"

"I am a alien," he replied. "my species of alien creeated that string but dose fucking mermaids stole it frum us!!!1" he took out a laser gun. "time 2 die so I can get wats mine!!1"

But I took out my gun and shot him and he died. Q uickly I ran 2 wallice, clarence, weevil, max, parka, and jackie's room. Logan was ther and he wuz watching donsons creek.

"donsons creek was wallice's fave show," moaned logan. "I wuz hoping it wud wake him up."

"ya ok," I said. "logan. I have a magical peace of string. It will take us inside the brains of our comatose friends."

Logan screamed. "well cum on now, wat r we wattin 4??"

We used da magic string and we ejumped into our friends' brains. Suddenly we gasped at our surroundings. We were sitting in a park and it wuz snowoing. Wallice, clarence, parka, weevil, mac and jackie were shitting around, looking depressed.

"omfg u guiz!!!1" I yelled.

Suddenly they all looked so happy wehen they saw us. parka said, "vertonica, wats going on?? I don't know were we r."

I almost began 2 tell them that they were in comaz and that their children were dead and evil and that me and logan were traveling around they're brains. But I did not want them 2 no. I did not want them 2 be depressed.

"umm," I mumbled. "we were going 2 cold stome creametry, lyke we do every Friday." I snapped my fingers and suddenly we were at cold stone.

Wallce breethed a sigh of relief. "I never want 2 grow up, veronica. I don't want 2 have kids. I just wanna hang out w/ da gang." He looked at jackie seductively. "hey babe, u wanna go out???/"

"ya ok!!1" she exclaimed. Happily they walked off 2 lick their cake blatter speshul.

Parker giggled at logan. "hey sexy, u wanna make out???"

"yea," he said. Logan asked me 4 permission first and I said it wuz ok becuz parka was going 2 be dying soon and I wanted her 2 have 1 last thrill. They wallked off.

Weevil and max began 2 kiss.

I turned to clarence. "hay."

He sighed. "veronica, im not a retard. While every1 else may have 4gotten dat we r trapped in comas, I have not. I remember evrythin. Im so sry 4 not being up and close with wallice about dumbledor. Maybe if I had been, me and my frends wuddnt be dying."

I sighed. "its ok, calrence."

He moaned. "do u…do u think u cud call dumbledroe 4 me?? Tell him im sry. Tell him ive been a total asshole and I didn't deserve him."

"shure."

"im such an asshole," he cried.

I sighed. "yes, u r. but lets not think about it rite now. Lets just….enjoy our ice crame."

For an hour or so we happily enjoyed our ice cream, telling jokes, teasinz geach other, just lyke old times. Logan, clarence, and me pretended that we didn't no the truth about wat was going on.

Finally it was time 2 go. Logan said "cum on, veronica. Sya goodbi."

Sadly I waved goodbi 2 all my frenz. "gudby every1."

Parka said "y r u being all sad?? We'll see each other next Friday!!1"

More tearz came. "of course we will, parker. Of course we will."

I took out the magickal string and we were gone, back in da hospital room. Me and logan were both crying so much. Suddenly we heard a beeping noise. All da nurses ran in and we gasped becuz we knew wat had happened………our 6 friends finally departed.


	35. Chapter 35

a/n: omfg I cunt wait 4 our party 2nite katrina!!!11 LOOOL!!!! I rented da mane girls and da nootbuk!! Don't flam!

I wuz so sad. I cuddnt believe that my 6 bffs were all dead. It seemed lyke just yetterday that we were all hangin' out 2gether without any stress or angst or evil people on our mindzs. Anyway logan and me were at da creamatory were we were going 2 burn our friends ashes.

We watched them as they burned the bodies. It wuz terrible. Logan said 2 me, "veronica, I have 2 tell u sumthing verty impottant."

"not rite now," I said. "I have 2 do something."

Leo was there 2. logan began 2 object, but leo screamed "she has 2 do something! Fuck off!!1"

Anyway I walked away and I took out mah mary-kate &a shley cell fone. I called dumbledore's number. Suddenly a crickety old man picked up da fone. "hello??? Dumbledore speakin."

I sighed. "hi dumbledore. Its veronica. Remember me???"

"o ya," he said. "just vaggly tho. My memory is not wat it used 2 be."

I moaned. "well, dumbledore I have 2 tell u sumthing. Its about your boyfriend. Clarence…clarence weedman."

He giggled with excitement. I cuntinued. "well, clarence…clarence…his body was found dead 2day. It seemed that he had been dead 4 lyke 25 years. Sum1 hoo was with him when he died said that clarence said 2 tell dumbledore he loved him."

I cud hear him sobbing. "ppl told me that he had left me. That he wuz never cumming back. But I always new deep in my hart that he wud never run off with sum1 else."

I sighed. "mhmhm."

"well," h e said. "ty. Ty so much. Now I think its time 4 me 2 take my prune juice." Then I heard sumthing weird. Dumbledore shouted "omfg!!1 it's u!!1"

"mr dumbledore??? Mr. dumbledore wats goin on???"

Then dumbledore whispered, "clarence. I new u'd cum back 2 me." Den he didn't talk anymore and eventually I hung up.

I wuz so confused. Was dumbledore just a weird old man hoo thot that clalrence was there?? Or perhaps was dumbledore being visited by his lover frum beyond da grave??/ I went over 2 logan and leo and I told them about wat just happened.

"u no veronica," said logan. "when lily cain died, I wuz visited by her a lot. I don't relli no if I wuz just dreaming or it was relli her, but I llyke 2 beleef dat she's still watchin me from beyond da grave." 

"shut up," leo said. "stop talking about ur feelings." 

"no," I franked. "its ok." 

"o," leo repplied. "well I have a lot of feelings 2."

"k. anyway logan wat was it that u wanted 2 tell me?"

He jumped. "well teronica, when we were in our friends' brains, I talked 2 clarence and asked him 4 help about the creature that's eviler than wallman. He said he didn't no anything about that, but he told me that wallman had a computer that he forbidded any1 from touching. Perhaps the answer is in dere." 

"OMFG!" I exclammed. "y didn't u say so be4??/???"

We all jumped on our hoverbikes and rode 2 the wallman house. It wus up 4 sail becuz the entire weedman family was dead. Anyway leo and logan and me went into wallmans room where we founded his computter. It requirred a password.

"wat do u think da password is???" exclammed me.

"I have a idea," deciphered leo. "try 'condoms.'"

I entered 'condoms' and it worked. "how did u no??" leo told us that he used 2 date wallman and when he pretended 2 be asleep after they had sex, he waz actually looking at his asswords. The fact that leo was bisaxual only made me lyke him even more.

Anyway we went on wallmans myspacc and we looked at his myspash letters.

Dere wuz 1 from peevil. It said:

"hi wallman. I just wanted 2 let u no that I am totally in luv with mackie. She makes my hart jump and I am going 2 have sex w/ her tonight after we cum home from seeing underdog. I don't want u 2 feel like a thrd weel tho. Im sure when u becum president, u'll find lots of girls or boys. Watever u feel lyke that day."

Dere wuz 1 from aaron echo. It said:

"wallman, gud fuck on killing veronica mars!!11 I hate that slut!! When I rapped her she wasn't even that pleasuring. The world neesd less ppl lyke her. K bi."

And finally dere wuz 1 from someone w/ the name 'mystery person.' It said:

"wallman, rocky and bullwinkle are on there way 2 kill veronica mars and her ugly bf logan. They are flying on a broomstick with elphabba the witch. We r so close 2 taking over the world. Remember, tho, u owe me. I made u wat u r today. If it werent 4 me, u wud still be getting beaten up at skool by fat girls named franchesca. Remember……I am always watching u."

We all gsaped. Den suddenly we heard a voice. It said "HA HA, VERONICA, U R SO FOOLISH."

"were is dat voice cumming from?!?!" asked logan.

"CHECK DA TOILET!!1" I screamed. Every1 looked at me weerdly but I had no time 2 explain, becuz suddenly a terrible image popped up in front of us…………


	36. Chapter 36

a/n: omfg…dat parti last nite wuz insane. If u want 2 here about it, read mah lj. Katrina, we're still kool, rite? Anyway don't flam!!1

I gasped. Da figure standing in front of us waz……………….PRESIDENT FAG!!1 I screamed. "president fag, what the fuck?!?!!"

His tentacles rapped around my neck. "ahh veronica. U've gotten so big since I last saw u. 2 bad Im going 2 kill u shortly."

Logan and leo took out their gunz and began 2 shoot at president fag but he just cdackled and he wasn't affected watsoever. "omfg!!" shouted logan. "I 4got, only love can defeat tentakle monsters!!1" we all began 2 make out and make luv….but president fag still didn't die!1

Leo screamed. "wat is goin on here???"

He smeaned. "I am not president fag." Then suddenly he began 2 transform into……ALYSSA FENNEl!!!!!!!!!!!!111111

"ur so gay veronica," she cackled.

AND THEN SHE MORPHED INTO……….MY DAD!!!1 he said. "ur a failure 2 me, veronica."

I franked. "wat the fuck r u?"

He dunked. He had now taken da form of weevil. "me?? I go bi many names. but this is not da first time weve met, veronica, logan, and leo. Ive been with u since u were born. Ive been here since da beginningg of time."

Leo said "r u god??" he is very religus.

He grinned. "no, don't be ridiculus. Anyway it is not time 4 me 2 reveal my name 2 u." suddenly he took out a potion. He said 2 me, "drink it veronica. Drink it."

It smelled relli gud and I walked over 2 it and took da potion. Logan and leo screamed at me "no ronica don't!1" but I didn't listen becuz the potion smelled and looked so appatizzing. It smelled like a happyer time and I began 2 drink it……………

Suddenly I woke up. I wuz in my bed, in my old room in my old appartent. I looked at myself. I wuz 16 again!!1 I screemed. All of a sudden sum1 walked into da womb. It wuz….lily cain!1

"vertonica, u big sleepyhead!!!" she exclaimed. "u havent even gotten out of bed yet?? Jeez, it's da first day of skewl, cum on!!"

I franked. "lily…ur not dead??"

"y wud I be dead??"

I jumped with excitement. "and ur not having sax with aaron echo???????/"

"nop!!1"

I wuz so omged. Cud it be that the past 22 yrs of my life had all ben a dreem?? Dere wuz no tentacle monsters, no evil cults, no lily cain death, no bus crash, no hurst rappist, no dean killer. Suddenly duncan ran in. "where's my girl??? Where's my little brithday girl??" he took out a birthday cake.

I screamed. "omg u rememmbered??"

Then keith and my mom and aaron and lynn echo came in and so did loogan and so did my other friends livvie and kelly and katrina and laura.

"where's wallice??" I asked.

"he doesn't exist, remember??" said aaron.

"o ya!!1" suddenly I began 2 cry becuz I wuz so happy.

Duncan comforted me. "wats wrog, baby?"

"nothing….," I moaned. "its just…its just so beautiful. Everything. I guess ive forgotten that life is supposed 2 be enjoyed. I havent had much pleasure lately."

Then duncan and I started 2 have sex and I had so much pleasure. Every1 began 2 hug us when suddenly……………………EVERYTHING EVAPORATED!!1 I began 2 screwam and suddenly I found myself bak in the weedman house!!!1 loogan and leo were there and the evil monster had taken the form of parka.

"tee heee hee!" sahe shouted. "I made u think it wuz all a dream!! U r such a stuipid ugly girl!!" she slapped me. I slapped her b ack.

I began 2 cry. Then parka/evil monster saiid "u no, veronica. I am very ppowerful. If u want, I can make it so that u can go back to that time for permanently. All I need is….UR SOUL!!!!!!"

"NO!!!" I shouted. "I will NEVER GIVE IN 2 UR EVIL, WATEVER U R!! besides, I wouldn't want 2 go back even if u werent evil. Part of living is going forwards, not backwards!! U r an idiot!!"

The evil monster hissed. Then it took out some matches and some gasoline and suddenly THE HOUSE BURSTED ON FIRE!!!11 

"oh shit!!" everyone shouted.

"tee heee heee!!!" shouted parka/the evil monster and it disappeared.

Me and leo and loogan hugged. Leo shouted "wat r we going 2 do???"

"CUM ON!" I SHOUTED. "WE HAVE 2 JUMP OUT DA WINDOW. BE4 ITS 2 LATE……………..!"

a/n: ok u guiz dere r only gonna be 2 chprs left!!1 I promise dat dey will be very exshitting!! Also, schools gonna start soon so I mite not have much time 4 da internet, so umm every1 say ur goodbis 2 me if u have sumthing 2 say!!!1


	37. Chapter 37

a/n: ok dere will only be 1 more chap after dis 1. LOL katrina I cant wait 4 laura's party 2morroww!!1 dey're goin 2 play spin da bootle and dat stupid bitch cristina wasn't invited!!11 I cant wait!!1

"cum on every1 we neeed 2 jump out da window or else da fire will kill us all!!!" I shreeked. Logan and leo were both dying from da flames. "NO!! DON'T U BASTARDS!!" they fainted and I picked them up becuz I work out.

All terrifiedly and scaredly I walked over 2 da window. I wuz crying lyke dat 1 time when I was escappin from aaron echo and everything wuz on fire. "DON'T U DIE ON ME U BASTARDS!!" I shouted.

We headed 2 da window and I jumped out of it. We got a lot of bruisses and grass stains. I checked 2 make sure dat dey were still breething. They were. Logan sat up. "verkoonica, im ok!! But leo's in pain!!"

Leo wuz moaning and I cud tell that he wuz going 2 die. The fire wuz just 2 much 4 him. Suddenly a bunch of people ran over 2 da burning house. It was……chloe, tina, heather and lily cain jr.!! "MOM!! Wats goin on???"

"KIDS!"! I shouted. "u guis survived!!!"

"yea!!!" dey exclammed.

Suddenly I saw someone running off in2 da woods. It was…..a shadowy figure! I knew that it wuz the evil creature that wuz making my life terrible. I franked. "ok, logan, take care of leo and da kids!!!"

Logan neeled down 2 leo. "ur gonna be ok, baby. Ur gonna be fine." But we all knew that it wuz a lie. Anyway I ran off in2 da woods 2 look 4 da shadowy figure!!! I wuz so scared.

Finally I saw it. I gasped…it had taken da form of miss dent!!! "hello veronica." 

"HOO R U???" I SHOUTED. "WAT DA FUCK R U AND WAT IS UR FUCKING PROBLEM, U BITCH?!"

She cackled. "veronica, I think u r ready 4 me 2 reveal my name 2 u. My name is…………………LIFE!"

"wtf??" I asked.

"yes, my name is life," she replied. "I am life. Im not human or living at all 4 that matter."

I wuz so confused. Life continued. "I am very, very evil, and I lyke 2 torture people, with the intention of torturing them so much dat dey go crazy and kill themselves. Ive tortured u so much these past 22 years, so im surprised dat u managed 2 survive my wrath."

I wuz crying. "u bastard!"

"ya," she said. "I wuz da 1 hoo drove wallice 2 insanity. I wuz da 1 hoo left u da post-it note in ur twilight book. I wuz da 1 hoo left u da mysterious text massage."

"den dat means…"

"yes!!!" she shouted. "yes!!! I KILLED MISS DENT!!" suddenly she began 2 show me her memory.

_It wuz 21 yrs ago and miss dent was at skool and she wuz still alive. She wuz making out with erin._

"_ur so sexy," miss dent replied. "but we have 2 stop having sex soon becuz my student veronica mars is cumming in early 2 help me finish a painting."_

_Erin began 2 cry. Miss dent comforted her. "it'll be ok, baby."_

_Erin screamed. "no it wont be!! Becuz……I have 2 leave u. there's a girl…another girl. Her name is pocahontas. She lives on an islan and she iis pregnant w/ my baby. We r going 2 name da baby mush."_

"_NO!!" shouted miss dent. "FUCK DAMN IT." Then miss dent took out her wand and shouted "TENTACALUS MUSHUS!!!" suddenly erin grew tentacles!!1 all sadly erin slithered and erin left but she did not no that miss dent had also casted another spell. It wuz a spell 2 turn pocahontas's baby into……a gray blob!!!1_

_Miss dent wuz so sad. Suddenly sum1 came in2 da room. Itt wuz……life!! It had taken da form of lily cain._

"_u look relli sad," said lily. "u no…its ok u don't have 2 be here anymore. U can kill urself. Its kewl."  
_

_Miss dent said "but wat would my statr pupil veronica think??"_

"_fuck dat bitch!!" said lily/life. "just kill urself. Wat r u wattin 4?"_

_Then miss dent took out a butcher knife and killed herself._

I screamed. "life, u bastard!!1 how cud u do that 2 miss dent??"

"im not fair, veronica" life replied. "as long as the world exists, I will b around 2 torture people. I can never be defeated!!"

I barked. "WELL I CAN TRY!!" suddenly I took out my magick peace of string. "LETS C W ATS GOING ON IN UR BRAIN!!!"

Life began 2 scream. "U CAN USE UR SILLY STRING, BUT I WILL STILL TORTURE U SO MUCH!!!" then life took da form of piz. "HOW CAN U HURT ME VERONICA?? I AM PIZ, UR OLD BF, REMEMBER??? CUM ON KILL URSELF SO WE CAN B 2GETHER!!!"

I wuz so sad I didn't no wat 2 do. Shud I kill myself??? I did miss piz so mulch. Piz handed me a butcher knife and I wuz goin 2 kill myself when suddenly…………A BUNCH OF PPL CAME!!!!!!!!

IT WUZ……….LEO, DUBBLEDORE, MERCER, MOE, WALLICE, CLARENCE, MAC, PARKA, WEEVIL, JACKIE, WALLMAN, PEEVIL, MACKIE, FRANCHESCA, GORGIA, JOHN SMITH, POOCAHONTAS, ROCKY, ERIN, SPONGEBOOB, NEMO, THE MANNINGS, BULLWINKLE, ELPHABBA, PRINCIPAL VAN HELSING, TAMMY FEATHERBUTT, SELMA HEARST-ROSE, PRESIDENT FAG, PIZ, VODDEMORT, ASSIDY, RON, HARRY, HERMIONE, TOY VANDERLAFF, MAYOR LAMB, ALYSSA FENNEL, JACK, KATE, DEAN WINCHEDDER, MY DAD AND LORELAI GILMORE111

"oomfg!!" I exclaimed. "all da dead ppl r cumming out in backwards order!!!"

They all started 2 beat up life and life started 2 scream in pain.

Piz said "veronica!! Theres not much time!!! We r using a magic dead people power 2 conceal life!!! It will still b able torture people, but if u use the power within and alwayz have self steam, life will never be able 2 hurt u!!"

Then my dad came. "veronica, u've gotten so beautiful. But u must go, now!!"

"ok thx u so much u guiz!!!" I exclaimed. Every1 sadly waved goodbi 2 me as they beated up life and quickly I began 2 run away. "I luv each and every 1 of u!!"

All quickly i ran over 2 logan where the wallman manor wuz burning down. Logan was crying over leo's corpse.

"its ok, logan," I whispered. "everythings going 2 b ok now. As long as we have self-esteem, life can never hurt us."

Then sadly we hugged each other as we watched da wallman manor burn and burn, w/ all its terrible secrets burning along with it.

a/n: k derez 1 more chpr left!!111


	38. Chapter 38

a/n: k so um da party at laura's house was pushed up to last nite. And well….it wuz defiantly da most intense party of my life. Katrina…idk if ill ever be allowed 2 talk 2 u again. I mean they cant keep us apart 4ever, rite? Well……read my lj 4 more details. Anyway this is da last chaptr of da fic, thx 2 every1!! And even thx 2 da flammers, u guyz rent so bad, u just don't know how 2 write fic.

"and dat," logan gleemed. "is the story of our life."

I screamed. "omfg…I remember!!!" I wuz so happy becuz I had alshermimers and I 4got my entire life but after logan described my life story 2 me I remembered it all.

We started 2 dance even though we were like 70 years old and dancing was hard what w/ our broken hips and everythin. "wat waz ur favorite part??" loogan asked.

"I lyked da part with da tenticle monsters," I answered. "I cant believe we managed 2 defeat them & be left with only emotional scars and no fphysical 1s."

The nurse walked into da room. "ok u guiz!!1 da new yreas prty is about 2 begin. Cum on, join da festivites!!1" me and loogan happily skipped (not rly becuz we had trouble walking) 2 da main room where all the other senior citizen cupples were dancing.

We had sum complimentary cold stone cake battler ice creem. Since we were old, we had trubble eating, but we didn't have a problem with the rich and deliciousness of cold stone.

We started 2 slow dance with all da other couples but we only pictured each other. "wait I 4got 1 thing," I said. "wat happened 2 our children??"

"all 4 of them becammed president, remember??" said logan. "and dey passed a law dat said any1 evil has 2 go 2 prison. Finally we have a prezident hoo doeznt want 2 take over da world."

"ya and it wuz relli nice of dem 2 make da olsen twins secretaries of state 4 me!!"

One of loogan's friends called him over 2 look at his stamp collection and logan giggled with excitement and walked away. I sat down on da couch and sighed. I reached into my pocket and took out……an envelope!!1 on da envelope it said da words 'DNA RESULTS OF CHLOE MARS.'

Da envelope had not been oppened yet. I began 2 open it but I stopped when someone said "it's a lovely nite" 2 me.

I looked up. It wuz an old man. He wuz da janitor. I franked. "ya, I guess it is."

He began 2 clean the floor w/ his mop. "da end of da year is always excitting. U get 2 start a whole new fresh year. But its also kinda sad becuz ur leaving a hole year of memories behind u. its lyke…da end of a era."

"ya I have a hole lot of memories," I moaned. "2 bad I don't remember any of dem."

"well I have a idea," said da janitor. "y don't u type out ur entyre life story on a storytelling website??? Dat way all ur memories will be written down so anytime u 4get sumthin, u can just go on da website and refresh ur memory."

I gasped. "me??! But I havent used da computer in 40 yrs!!!1 im a old lady!!!1 my typing will prolly cum out lookin lyke crap."

"soo???" asked da janitor. "its not da grammar dat counts, its da amount of love dat is put into da story."

I sat down at da competre and I began 2 type but I wuz so afraid. Logan walked over and I told him about my plan. I screeched. "wat if no 1 lykes my story???"

"well," said logan. "ill leave u gud reviews, even if ppl think ur story is crap, which it totally wont be."

I sighed. "logan, wat if ppl think we're da same person?"

"idk any1 hoo thinks dat is a fucking retard."

Well anyway I typed out da first chpr of my story, detailing da trauma I had expereenced wen my dad reveeled dat we were goin 2 be movin 2 washington dc and I wud never see any of my frenz ever again. I submitted da fic and in 10 minutes I got a review!!

"omg!!" shouted logan. "click it!!"

I clicked it…it wuz a flam.

It said:

'WAT DA FUCK IS DIZ CRAP???/// U DO NOT NO HOW 2 WRRITE A FIC AT ALL!!!111 DIS SHIT IS WORSE THAN EPISODE 24 OF SABRINA DA TEENAGE WITCH, AND DATS WAY BETTER COMPARED 2 DIS CRAP. I AM A VERY SMRT PRESON AND U NEED 2 LISTEN 2 MY CUMFUCTIVE CRITISICM. SPELL UR STUFF RITE FOR GAD'S SAKE. I TAKE DA INTERNET VERY SRSLY AND MY HEART AND SOUL GOES INTO READING STORIES, DAT IDK, R ACTUALLY GUD!!11"

I began 2 cry but logfan comforted me. "wat do u think da flammer is doin rite now??" logan asked.

"hmm," I began 2 ponder.

XXX FLAMMER'S POV XXX

I stopped having sex w/ da computer 4 a feew sexonds becuz sum1 wuz at da door. I went 2 answer it and dere wuz a girl scout ther and her hot olda brother.

"wud u lyke 2 buy thin mints???" asked da little girl.

I began 2 get all snarky becuz dats wat varonica mars does on da show shes s narky LOL!!!!1111 "UM no thX, try again wen ur 2 feet taller, becuz I don't talk 2 midgets!!1 dey r evil and have powers!!!1" I cackled 2 myself becuz I was snarky.

The hot olda brother yelled at me "hey don't be mean 2 her!!"

"SRY I DON'T TALK 2 MEN UNLESS UR NAME IS JASON DOOHRING!!1 K IF U EXCUZ ME I HAVE 2 GET BACK 2 CIRCUMSIZING A FANFIC BI."

XXX VERONICA'S POV XXX

"dere will always be flammers," logan said. "but its ok becuz dey have no soul."

"o rite," I rememebred.

Logan patted me on da back. "its almost new yrs."

I got sexcited. "ya I nO!!!" suddenly I walked over 2 all da udder ppl. "gang, if u don't mind, id like 2 say a few words be4 da new year cums and we all begin our new beginnings."

Every1 took out they're hearing aides. "well," I cuntinued. "a good friend 1nce told me a long time ago dat life wuz sumthing that shud be appreciated, not feared. The best part of life is having issues dat u get 2 tackle, becuz if u don't tackle them, life tackles u. although I had a shitload of issues in my past, lyke battling tenticle monsters and evil cults, each 1 has built me up 2 becum da person I am 2day. I raised 4 wonderful children hoo each becammed president. I married a luvly man named loogan. Life…life shud not be something that u just moan and complain about and spent sitting on da toilet. It shud be enjoyed, becuz 1nce u take on its challenges, lyke riting a fanfic or battling a alien, u realize dat Life isnt so scary anymore."

Every1 clapped. Logan clapped da hardest and I walked over 2 him and we made out and stuff. Then suddenly i took out a flower and handed it 2 logan. It wuz…….a tulip!!!

"wats dis 4??" logan asked, curiusly.

"its 2 thank u 4 stickin with me this hole time," repplied me. "not many guyz would want 2 be with a girl whos hated by practically every1."

He grinned. "I cud never leave u, mi amor."

An old man in a hweelchair came strolling 2 us. his name was susie. "young luv is so sweet. I cant wait 2 tell my wife erin."

Since susie was old he still thot that his wife erin wuz still alive. I patted him on his head. "kk give my regards 2 erin...wherever she is."

"ya I will," susie said. Then he strolled off.

Logan yelped "omfg da countdown is beginning!!!"

SUDDENLY WE ALL BEGAN 2 CHANT………..

10………..

I felt around mah pocket.

9………….

I gasped becuz I realized I still hadnt oppened da anvelope!!

8…………..

I took out da envelope.

7……………

I examined it.

6……………..

Suddenly I took out a chainsaw and ripped it in2 shreds!!11

5……………..

Every1 looked at me weerdly but I smiled 2 myself becuz I was proud of wat I had done.

4……………

i franked.

3…………….

I felt tearz cumming 2 my eyes.

2…………….

Logan neeled down 2 kiss me.

1……………..

I whispered to myself, "Thank you, everyone. It's been sweet."


End file.
